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Created and Encoded by -- Bokutox -- of www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet. World of Warcraft - Outland PVP (EU) - Torporr (name)
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This is a story about a man
named Harold Crick.
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And his wristwatch.
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Harold Crick was a man of infinite
numbers...
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...endless calculations
and remarkably few words.
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And his wristwatch said even less.
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00:01:12,579 --> 00:01:15,412
Every weekday, for 12 years...
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...Harold would brush
each of his 32 teeth 76 times.
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Thirty-eight times back and forth.
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Thirty-eight times up and down.
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Every weekday, for 12 years...
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...Harold would tie his tie in a single
Windsor knot instead of the double...
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...thereby saving up to 43 seconds.
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His wristwatch thought the single
Windsor made his neck look fat...
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...but said nothing.
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Every weekday, for 12 years...
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...Harold would run at a rate of nearly
57 steps per block for six blocks...
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...barely catching
the 8:17 Kronecker bus.
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His wristwatch would delight...
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...in the feeling of the crisp wind
rushing over its face.
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And every weekday, for 12 years...
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...Harold would review 7. 134
tax files...
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...as a senior agent
for the Internal Revenue Service.
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Regs section 1 .469-2 (B) (i), Diane.
Thanks.
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Good morning. IRS.
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Harold, 89 times 1417?
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126,113.
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That adds up.
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Only taking a 45. 7-minute
lunch break...
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...and a 4.3-minute coffee break...
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...timed precisely by his wristwatch.
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Oh, great.
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Yeah, we'll go to Mullen's or we'll...
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Beyond that,
Harold lived a life of solitude.
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He would walk home alone.
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He would eat alone.
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And at precisely 11:13 every night...
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...Harold would go to bed alone...
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...placing his wristwatch to rest
on the nightstand beside him.
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That was, of course,
before Wednesday.
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On Wednesday, Harold's wristwatch
changed everything.
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Oh, my God, you got it?
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I got it.
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I got it.
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If one had asked Harold,
he would have said...
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...that this particular Wednesday was
exactly like all the Wednesdays prior.
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And he began it the same way he--
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And he began it the same way
he always did.
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Hello?
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He began it the same way
he always did.
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When others' minds would--
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Hello? Is someone there?
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When others' minds would fantasize
about their upcoming day...
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...or even try to grip onto
the final moments of their dreams...
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...Harold just counted brushstrokes.
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All right, who just said,
"Harold just counted brushstrokes"?
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And how do you know I'm counting
brushstrokes?
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Hello?
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It was remarkable how the simple,
modest--
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It was remarkable h--
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It was remarkable how the simple,
modest elements of Harold's life...
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...so often taken for granted...
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...would become the catalyst
for an entirely new life.
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Harold ran for the bus...
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...his stiff leather shoes
making a terrible squeaking sound...
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...as they flexed against the asphalt.
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00:05:59,933 --> 00:06:03,494
And though this was
an extraordinary day...
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...a day to be remembered
for the rest of Harold's life...
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...Harold just thought
it was a Wednesday.
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I'm sorry, did you hear that?
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The voice. Did you hear it?
"Harold thought it was a Wednesday"?
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Don't worry, it is Wednesday.
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No, no, did you hear it? "Harold
just thought it was a Wednesday"?
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- Who's Harold?
- I'm Harold.
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Harold, it's okay, it's Wednesday.
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No, no, I...
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Never mind.
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Harold couldn't concentrate
on his work.
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Excuse me, Harold?
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His thoughts were scattered.
His mind elsewhere.
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Sorry.
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Someone here should be able to fix--
Hold on a second.
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Hey, Harold. What's 67 times 453?
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When a coworker asked
the product of 67 and 453...
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You know what?
I can't think while you're talking.
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...he drew a blank.
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- What?
- What?
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- Harold quickly answered, "30,351."
- What? Oh, nothing. 30,351.
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Despite the answer
really being 31,305.
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00:07:07,734 --> 00:07:12,330
Wait, wait, wait, 31,305. Sorry.
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00:07:15,075 --> 00:07:18,374
Dude, I just totally caught
some insurance adjuster...
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...claiming his jet ski
as a work vehicle.
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I'll tell you, it is a shame...
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00:07:24,684 --> 00:07:27,619
...that they don't give out
an auditor of the year award.
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Dude?
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You okay?
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00:07:34,728 --> 00:07:36,821
Dave, I'm being followed.
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00:07:41,601 --> 00:07:44,035
How are you being followed?
You're not moving.
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- It's by a voice.
- What?
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I'm being followed
by a woman's voice.
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Okay.
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What is she saying?
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She's narrating.
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Harold, you're staring at boxes,
what is she narrating?
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00:08:08,828 --> 00:08:11,126
No, no, no. I had to stop filing.
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Watch. Watch. Listen. Listen.
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The sound the paper made
against the folder...
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...had the same tone
as a wave scraping against sand.
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And when Harold thought about it...
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00:08:25,178 --> 00:08:27,408
...he listened to enough waves
every day...
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...to constitute what he imagined
to be a deep and endless ocean.
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Did you hear that?
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You mean you filing?
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No, no, no, the voice.
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No.
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Frightening part is sometimes I do
imagine a deep and endless ocean.
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What ocean?
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The one made by the sound--
Forget it.
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New audits. Have a good day.
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Thank you.
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All right, we got a baker
and a securities trader.
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Maybe you should take the baker.
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- Okay?
- Okay.
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Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
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- You miscreant.
- I understand.
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Oh, get bent, taxman!
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- Taxman!
- Taxman!
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Taxman!
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Go home!
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Listen, is there somewhere else
we could talk about this?
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No. We're gonna talk about this
right here.
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Okay. It says, the file, that you only
paid part of your taxes for last year.
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- That's right.
- Looks like only 78 percent.
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Yep.
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So you did it on purpose?
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Yep.
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So you must have been
expecting an audit?
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I was expecting a fine...
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...or a sharp reprimand.
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A reprimand? This isn't
boarding school, Ms. Pascal.
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You stole from the government.
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No, I didn't steal from the government.
I just didn't pay you entirely.
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Ms. Pascal, you can't just
not pay your taxes.
144
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Yes, I can.
145
00:10:32,105 --> 00:10:33,902
You can if you wanna get audited.
146
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Only if I recognize your right
to audit me, Mr. Crick.
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Ms. Pascal, I'm right here
auditing you.
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Now I have to go over
your past three years...
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...to make sure
that's all you haven't paid.
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Fine.
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00:10:48,154 --> 00:10:51,180
Actually, you know, it's not fine.
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Listen, I'm a big supporter
of fixing potholes...
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...and erecting swing sets
and building shelters.
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I am more than happy
to pay those taxes.
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00:11:03,069 --> 00:11:06,903
I'm just not such a big fan
of the percentage...
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...that the government uses
for national defense...
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...corporate bailouts
and campaign discretionary funds.
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So I didn't pay those taxes.
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I think, actually...
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...I sent a letter to that effect
with my return.
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Would it be the letter that begins,
"Dear Imperialist Swine"?
162
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Yes.
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Ms. Pascal, what you're describing
is anarchy. Are you an anarchist?
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- You mean am I a member of--?
- An anarchist group, yes.
165
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Anarchists have a group?
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I believe so. Sure.
167
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They assemble?
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I don't know.
169
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Wouldn't that completely
defeat the purpose?
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It was difficult for Harold to imagine
Ms. Pascal as a revolutionary.
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- Not now.
- Her thin arms...
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00:12:02,128 --> 00:12:04,153
- What?
- ...hoisting protest signs.
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- Her long shapely legs...
- Nothing.
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...dashing from tear gas.
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Harold wasn't prone to fantasies...
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...and so he tried his best
to remain professional.
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But, of course, failed.
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He couldn't help but imagine
Ms. Pascal...
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00:12:21,581 --> 00:12:25,574
...stroking the side of his face
with the soft blade of her finger.
180
00:12:26,953 --> 00:12:30,389
He couldn't help but imagine her
immersed in a tub...
181
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...shaving her legs.
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And he couldn't help
but imagine her naked...
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- ...stretched across his bed.
- Mr. Crick?
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00:12:42,135 --> 00:12:45,036
- Mr. Crick.
- Yes, what is it?
185
00:12:45,238 --> 00:12:47,934
You're staring at my tits.
186
00:12:49,742 --> 00:12:53,200
I wa--? I don't think I was.
I don't think I would do that.
187
00:12:53,413 --> 00:12:55,040
If I was, I can assure you...
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...it was only as a representative
of the United States government.
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00:12:59,185 --> 00:13:04,953
Sorry, I'm just having issues today.
So I'll be back on Tuesday.
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00:13:07,694 --> 00:13:11,960
Harold suddenly found himself
beleaguered and exasperated...
191
00:13:12,165 --> 00:13:14,565
- ...outside the bakery...
- Shut up!
192
00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:16,735
...cursing the heavens in futility.
193
00:13:16,936 --> 00:13:19,166
No, I'm not, I'm cursing you,
you stupid voice!
194
00:13:19,372 --> 00:13:22,307
So shut up and leave me alone!
195
00:13:49,068 --> 00:13:51,263
Hey, watch it!
196
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:21,591
Excuse me.
197
00:14:23,336 --> 00:14:25,270
Excuse me.
198
00:14:29,742 --> 00:14:31,107
Are you Miss Eiffel?
199
00:14:33,713 --> 00:14:34,805
- Yes.
- Excellent.
200
00:14:35,014 --> 00:14:36,538
May I ask what you're doing?
201
00:14:38,151 --> 00:14:39,641
Research.
202
00:14:39,852 --> 00:14:41,717
- Oh, am I interrupting?
- Yes.
203
00:14:41,921 --> 00:14:44,822
I'm sorry. I'm Penny Escher.
204
00:14:45,024 --> 00:14:46,889
I'm the assistant
your publishers hired.
205
00:14:48,027 --> 00:14:51,190
- The spy.
- The assistant.
206
00:14:51,397 --> 00:14:53,831
I provide the same services
as a secretary.
207
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:56,063
I don't need a secretary.
208
00:14:56,836 --> 00:14:59,828
Then I will have to find some
other way of occupying my time.
209
00:15:00,039 --> 00:15:01,666
Like watching me like a vulture...
210
00:15:01,874 --> 00:15:04,604
...because the publishers
think I have writer's block, right?
211
00:15:05,545 --> 00:15:07,410
Do you have writer's block?
212
00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:12,517
Are these pages?
213
00:15:12,719 --> 00:15:15,187
They're letters. To me.
214
00:15:15,888 --> 00:15:18,789
- Are you writing back?
- I don't respond to letters.
215
00:15:19,425 --> 00:15:22,053
And I suppose you smoked
all these cigarettes?
216
00:15:22,528 --> 00:15:24,792
No, they came pre-smoked.
217
00:15:25,264 --> 00:15:27,732
Yeah, they said you were funny.
218
00:15:31,738 --> 00:15:34,434
What do you think about
leaping off a building?
219
00:15:35,508 --> 00:15:37,305
I don't think about
leaping off buildings.
220
00:15:37,510 --> 00:15:40,308
- Yes, you do.
- No. I try to think of nice things.
221
00:15:40,513 --> 00:15:42,447
Everyone thinks about
leaping off buildings.
222
00:15:42,648 --> 00:15:46,311
Well, I certainly don't think about
leaping off of a building.
223
00:15:53,493 --> 00:15:55,256
They say--
224
00:16:00,566 --> 00:16:03,467
I read this in this
fantastically depressing book.
225
00:16:04,604 --> 00:16:07,129
--that when you jump
from a building...
226
00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:10,673
...it's rarely the impact
that actually kills you.
227
00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:13,237
Well, I'm sure it doesn't help.
228
00:16:13,613 --> 00:16:17,606
There's a photograph
in the book called The Leaper.
229
00:16:17,817 --> 00:16:19,341
It's old, but it's beautiful.
230
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From above the corpse of a woman
who'd just leapt to her death.
231
00:16:24,290 --> 00:16:28,283
There's blood around her head,
like a halo...
232
00:16:28,494 --> 00:16:31,622
...and her leg's buckled underneath,
her arm's snapped like a twig...
233
00:16:33,032 --> 00:16:35,523
...but her face is so serene...
234
00:16:36,069 --> 00:16:38,128
...so at peace.
235
00:16:38,638 --> 00:16:40,538
And I think it's because
when she died...
236
00:16:40,740 --> 00:16:44,141
...she could feel the wind
against her face.
237
00:16:49,482 --> 00:16:53,714
I don't know how to kill Harold Crick.
That's why they sent you.
238
00:16:54,287 --> 00:16:56,255
Yes, to help you.
239
00:16:57,490 --> 00:16:58,957
How are you gonna help me?
240
00:16:59,158 --> 00:17:01,285
You, who never thinks
of leaping off buildings?
241
00:17:01,494 --> 00:17:04,088
What great inspiration
will you bestow on me?
242
00:17:04,297 --> 00:17:06,595
I'll tell you, the quaint ideas
you've gathered...
243
00:17:06,799 --> 00:17:08,824
...in your adorable career
as an "assistant"...
244
00:17:09,035 --> 00:17:11,868
...are to no avail
when faced with killing a man.
245
00:17:12,572 --> 00:17:14,335
I understand.
246
00:17:14,674 --> 00:17:17,370
Do you? I can't just--
247
00:17:24,283 --> 00:17:25,580
As much as I would like to...
248
00:17:25,785 --> 00:17:29,516
...I cannot simply throw
Harold Crick off a building.
249
00:17:36,195 --> 00:17:41,428
Miss Eiffel. Kay. I've been
an author's assistant for 11 years.
250
00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:44,398
I've helped more than 20 authors
complete more than 35 books...
251
00:17:44,604 --> 00:17:46,663
...and I've never missed the deadline.
252
00:17:46,873 --> 00:17:49,865
And I have never gone back to the
publisher to ask for more time.
253
00:17:50,076 --> 00:17:53,512
Now, I will be available to you
every minute of every day...
254
00:17:53,713 --> 00:17:57,342
...until the final punctuation
is embedded on the very last page.
255
00:17:57,550 --> 00:18:01,919
I do not like loud music.
I do not abide narcotics.
256
00:18:02,221 --> 00:18:07,420
And I will gladly and quietly
help you kill Harold Crick.
257
00:18:16,335 --> 00:18:20,704
I had a very interesting little convo
with someone in your section.
258
00:18:20,907 --> 00:18:22,101
Yeah?
259
00:18:23,476 --> 00:18:26,240
They said you were feeling
a little wibbly-wobbly.
260
00:18:29,382 --> 00:18:31,441
Catch a little cubicle fever?
261
00:18:31,984 --> 00:18:33,952
Oh, I don't know. I think I'm okay.
262
00:18:34,687 --> 00:18:39,920
Harold, a tree doesn't think
it's a tree...
263
00:18:40,259 --> 00:18:42,318
...it is a tree.
264
00:18:42,828 --> 00:18:45,626
Why was Harold talking to this man?
265
00:18:46,132 --> 00:18:48,600
This man was an idiot.
266
00:18:48,801 --> 00:18:54,296
This man used words like
"wibbly-wobbly" and "convo."
267
00:18:54,774 --> 00:18:57,902
And explained that trees were trees.
268
00:18:58,444 --> 00:19:00,173
Of course trees were trees.
269
00:19:00,379 --> 00:19:02,108
Harold knew trees were trees.
270
00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:03,942
I am going to believe you, Harold.
271
00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:06,584
What Harold didn't know
was why he couldn't shake...
272
00:19:06,786 --> 00:19:09,346
...the smell of brownies
from his senses.
273
00:19:09,555 --> 00:19:14,015
Why Ms. Pascal had made
his fingertips quiver and lips go numb.
274
00:19:15,528 --> 00:19:16,893
Harold?
275
00:19:19,298 --> 00:19:21,425
Yes? Sorry.
276
00:19:22,034 --> 00:19:24,195
What's going on, Harold?
277
00:19:25,705 --> 00:19:26,967
Well...
278
00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:32,503
Nothing. Everything's fine.
279
00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:37,749
Listen, according to your records...
280
00:19:37,950 --> 00:19:42,614
...you haven't taken vacation
in a few years now.
281
00:19:42,822 --> 00:19:45,950
Let's say you take a little break.
282
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:48,925
Use some of that vaca time.
283
00:19:50,563 --> 00:19:53,896
Yeah. I'll think about it.
284
00:19:58,237 --> 00:19:59,602
Harold.
285
00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:06,341
I'm not really supposed to do this,
but...
286
00:20:25,631 --> 00:20:28,156
Harold assumed his watch
was simply on the fritz...
287
00:20:28,367 --> 00:20:32,167
...and never even considered that it
might be trying to tell him something.
288
00:20:35,107 --> 00:20:38,167
In fact, Harold had never once
paid attention to his watch...
289
00:20:38,377 --> 00:20:40,242
...other than to find out the time.
290
00:20:40,446 --> 00:20:44,712
And, honestly,
it drove his watch crazy.
291
00:20:45,117 --> 00:20:47,517
And so, on this particular
Wednesday evening...
292
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:51,087
...as Harold waited for the bus,
his watch suddenly...
293
00:20:51,924 --> 00:20:53,789
...stopped.
294
00:20:55,528 --> 00:20:57,291
Sorry, does anyone have the time?
295
00:20:58,230 --> 00:21:01,461
- Yeah, I got 6:18.
- Thanks.
296
00:21:01,667 --> 00:21:07,765
Thus Harold's watch thrust him
into the immitigable path of fate.
297
00:21:07,973 --> 00:21:12,239
Little did he know that this simple,
seemingly innocuous act...
298
00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:15,243
...would result in his imminent death.
299
00:21:15,581 --> 00:21:17,708
What? What?
300
00:21:17,917 --> 00:21:19,908
Hey! Hello?
301
00:21:20,386 --> 00:21:21,785
What?
302
00:21:22,488 --> 00:21:23,750
Why?
303
00:21:24,490 --> 00:21:26,151
Why my death?
304
00:21:26,392 --> 00:21:27,791
Hello!
305
00:21:28,427 --> 00:21:30,486
Excuse me!
306
00:21:30,963 --> 00:21:32,658
When?
307
00:21:33,366 --> 00:21:35,357
How imminent?
308
00:21:36,302 --> 00:21:37,894
Okay, where are you?
309
00:21:45,277 --> 00:21:49,441
"Harold would brush his 32 teeth
72 times."
310
00:21:49,949 --> 00:21:53,510
Why won't you say anything?
I heard you.
311
00:21:54,153 --> 00:21:56,314
"That would result
in his imminent death."
312
00:21:56,956 --> 00:21:58,753
I heard you!
313
00:21:59,458 --> 00:22:01,085
Come on, you stupid voice.
314
00:22:01,293 --> 00:22:03,853
"Harold frantically grabbed his lamp.
315
00:22:04,830 --> 00:22:09,290
Harold, incensed, shook the hell
out of it for no apparent reason!
316
00:22:09,502 --> 00:22:13,165
And smashed it on the ground,
kicking it repeatedly!
317
00:22:14,907 --> 00:22:17,774
Harold took his Kleenex box,
threw it across the room...
318
00:22:17,977 --> 00:22:19,604
...then stormed the closet!"
319
00:22:22,314 --> 00:22:24,373
Come on. Say something.
320
00:22:26,585 --> 00:22:29,145
Something. Say something!
321
00:22:30,389 --> 00:22:32,380
Say something!
322
00:22:39,331 --> 00:22:42,164
"Harold, distraught..."
323
00:22:44,069 --> 00:22:45,559
God.
324
00:22:46,038 --> 00:22:48,131
"Harold, distraught..."
325
00:22:51,210 --> 00:22:52,734
"Harold..."
326
00:22:56,882 --> 00:23:01,114
I'm afraid what you're describing
is schizophrenia.
327
00:23:03,522 --> 00:23:08,824
No. No. It's not schizophrenia.
It's just a voice in my head.
328
00:23:09,028 --> 00:23:12,691
I mean, the voice isn't telling me
to do anything.
329
00:23:12,898 --> 00:23:15,389
It's telling me what I've already done.
330
00:23:15,768 --> 00:23:18,601
Accurately
and with a better vocabulary.
331
00:23:19,472 --> 00:23:22,407
Mr. Crick, you have a voice
speaking to you.
332
00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:26,003
No, not to me, about me.
333
00:23:26,479 --> 00:23:31,416
I'm somehow involved
in some sort of story.
334
00:23:31,817 --> 00:23:34,377
Like I'm a character in my own life.
335
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:38,720
But the problem is
that the voice comes and goes.
336
00:23:39,024 --> 00:23:42,152
Like there are other parts of the story
not being told to me...
337
00:23:42,361 --> 00:23:45,922
...and I need to find out what those
other parts are before it's too late.
338
00:23:46,398 --> 00:23:49,128
Before the story concludes
with your death.
339
00:23:49,335 --> 00:23:50,700
Yes.
340
00:23:51,504 --> 00:23:53,972
Mr. Crick, I hate to sound
like a broken record...
341
00:23:54,173 --> 00:23:56,471
...but that's schizophrenia.
342
00:23:57,877 --> 00:24:02,507
You don't sound like a broken record,
but it's just not schizophrenia.
343
00:24:03,582 --> 00:24:06,415
What if what I said was true?
344
00:24:06,619 --> 00:24:11,886
Hypothetically speaking,
if I was part of a story, a narrative...
345
00:24:12,091 --> 00:24:15,959
...even if it was only in my mind...
346
00:24:16,295 --> 00:24:17,887
...what would you suggest that I do?
347
00:24:18,831 --> 00:24:21,925
I would suggest
you take prescribed medication.
348
00:24:23,269 --> 00:24:24,896
Other than that.
349
00:24:25,104 --> 00:24:27,004
I don't know.
350
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,701
I suppose I would send you to see
someone who knows about literature.
351
00:24:34,013 --> 00:24:35,207
Okay.
352
00:24:36,115 --> 00:24:39,175
Yeah. That's a good idea.
353
00:24:39,885 --> 00:24:41,614
Thank you.
354
00:24:42,254 --> 00:24:44,848
So you're the gentleman
who called me about the narrator.
355
00:24:45,057 --> 00:24:47,719
- Yes.
- This narrator says you're gonna die.
356
00:24:47,927 --> 00:24:49,053
Yes.
357
00:24:49,261 --> 00:24:52,719
- How long has it given you to live?
- I don't know.
358
00:24:52,998 --> 00:24:56,263
Dramatic irony.
It'll fuck you every time.
359
00:24:57,269 --> 00:24:59,260
- So you crazy or what?
- Well--
360
00:24:59,471 --> 00:25:01,496
Are you allowed to say that
to crazy people?
361
00:25:01,707 --> 00:25:03,834
- I don't know.
- Oh, well. How many stairs...
362
00:25:04,043 --> 00:25:06,341
- ...in the hallway out there?
- What?
363
00:25:06,545 --> 00:25:08,809
You were counting them
as we walked, weren't you?
364
00:25:09,014 --> 00:25:10,208
No.
365
00:25:10,416 --> 00:25:12,111
Of course.
What bank do you work at?
366
00:25:12,318 --> 00:25:14,479
No bank. IRS agent.
367
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:16,212
- Married?
- No.
368
00:25:16,422 --> 00:25:17,446
Ever?
369
00:25:17,656 --> 00:25:20,591
Engaged to an auditor.
She left me for an actuary.
370
00:25:20,793 --> 00:25:24,559
- How heartbreaking. Live alone?
- Yes.
371
00:25:25,864 --> 00:25:29,163
- Any pets?
- No.
372
00:25:29,535 --> 00:25:33,403
- Friends?
- No. Well, Dave at work.
373
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,803
I see. The narrator,
exactly what does he sound like?
374
00:25:38,010 --> 00:25:39,341
It's a woman.
375
00:25:40,579 --> 00:25:41,876
A woman.
376
00:25:42,081 --> 00:25:44,208
- Is it a familiar woman?
- No.
377
00:25:44,416 --> 00:25:46,111
Someone you know?
378
00:25:46,986 --> 00:25:48,180
No.
379
00:25:48,387 --> 00:25:51,015
Did you have enough time
to count the tiles in the bathroom?
380
00:25:51,590 --> 00:25:53,558
I wasn't counting the tiles.
381
00:25:54,994 --> 00:25:56,757
- Coffee?
- No, thank you.
382
00:25:56,962 --> 00:25:58,429
- Sure?
- Yes.
383
00:25:59,598 --> 00:26:02,066
So this woman, the voice,
told you you're gonna die?
384
00:26:02,267 --> 00:26:04,497
She didn't tell me.
She doesn't know I can hear her.
385
00:26:04,703 --> 00:26:06,500
- But she said it.
- Yes.
386
00:26:06,705 --> 00:26:07,933
And you believed her.
387
00:26:08,774 --> 00:26:10,571
She's been right
about a few other things.
388
00:26:10,776 --> 00:26:14,337
- Such as?
- How I felt about work.
389
00:26:14,546 --> 00:26:17,014
- You dislike your work?
- Yes.
390
00:26:18,617 --> 00:26:21,245
Well, not the most insightful voice
in the world, is it?
391
00:26:21,487 --> 00:26:23,751
First thing on a list
of what Americans hate: work.
392
00:26:23,956 --> 00:26:26,618
Second, traffic. Third, missing socks.
See what I'm saying?
393
00:26:26,825 --> 00:26:27,792
Sort of.
394
00:26:27,993 --> 00:26:29,984
I told you you were gonna die,
you believe me?
395
00:26:30,195 --> 00:26:31,526
- No.
- Why?
396
00:26:31,730 --> 00:26:33,095
I don't know you.
397
00:26:33,298 --> 00:26:35,357
- But you don't know this narrator.
- Well...
398
00:26:36,635 --> 00:26:41,197
- Okay, Mr. Crick, I can't help you.
- Why?
399
00:26:41,407 --> 00:26:44,467
Well, I'm not an expert in crazy,
I'm an expert in literature theory.
400
00:26:44,677 --> 00:26:47,111
And I gotta tell you, thus far...
401
00:26:47,312 --> 00:26:50,213
...there doesn't seem to be a single
literary thing about you.
402
00:26:50,416 --> 00:26:53,715
I don't doubt you hear a voice,
but it couldn't possibly be a narrator...
403
00:26:53,919 --> 00:26:56,945
...because, frankly, there doesn't seem
to be much to narrate.
404
00:26:57,156 --> 00:26:59,590
Beside that, this semester
I'm teaching five courses.
405
00:26:59,792 --> 00:27:01,487
I'm mentoring
two doctoral candidates...
406
00:27:01,694 --> 00:27:03,662
...and I'm the faculty lifeguard
at the pool.
407
00:27:05,998 --> 00:27:09,525
- I just thought you could possibly--
- Perhaps you should keep a journal.
408
00:27:09,735 --> 00:27:11,703
Write down what she said
or something.
409
00:27:11,904 --> 00:27:14,634
That's all I can suggest.
410
00:27:16,642 --> 00:27:19,236
I can barely remember it all.
I just remember:
411
00:27:19,445 --> 00:27:23,939
"Little did he know that this simple,
seemingly innocuous act...
412
00:27:24,149 --> 00:27:26,617
...would lead to his imminent death."
413
00:27:26,819 --> 00:27:29,686
- What?
- "Little did he know that this--"
414
00:27:29,888 --> 00:27:32,652
- Did you say, "little did he know"?
- Yes.
415
00:27:34,126 --> 00:27:36,993
I've written papers
on "little did he know."
416
00:27:37,563 --> 00:27:40,657
I used to teach a class
based on "little did he know."
417
00:27:42,067 --> 00:27:45,730
I mean, I once gave an entire seminar
on "little did he know."
418
00:27:45,938 --> 00:27:47,769
Son of a bitch, Harold.
419
00:27:48,807 --> 00:27:51,640
"Little did he know" means there's
something he doesn't know...
420
00:27:51,844 --> 00:27:55,177
...that means there's something
you don't know. Did you know that?
421
00:27:56,582 --> 00:27:59,016
- I want you to come back Friday.
- Okay.
422
00:27:59,218 --> 00:28:01,448
No, "imminent,"
you could be dead by Friday.
423
00:28:01,653 --> 00:28:05,680
Come back tomorrow at 9:45.
424
00:28:05,891 --> 00:28:08,189
Ten seconds ago
you said you wouldn't help me.
425
00:28:09,995 --> 00:28:12,623
It's been a very revealing 10 seconds,
Harold.
426
00:28:16,702 --> 00:28:19,068
Harold was deep in thought.
427
00:28:19,271 --> 00:28:23,731
For a few, brief moments, from
Born Boulevard to Euclid Avenue...
428
00:28:23,942 --> 00:28:26,410
...all the calculations
and all the rules...
429
00:28:26,612 --> 00:28:30,912
...and all the precision of Harold's life
just faded away.
430
00:28:32,151 --> 00:28:35,917
How perfect then
that in this space...
431
00:28:36,121 --> 00:28:39,022
...Ana Pascal would appear.
432
00:28:40,325 --> 00:28:41,485
Ms. Pascal.
433
00:28:43,796 --> 00:28:45,991
Ms. Pascal, it's Harold Crick
from the IRS.
434
00:28:46,198 --> 00:28:47,665
Excuse me.
435
00:28:50,903 --> 00:28:53,633
- Hi.
- Hi.
436
00:28:53,839 --> 00:28:56,603
- Would you like a seat?
- Nope.
437
00:28:56,809 --> 00:28:58,834
There's 11 open ones.
438
00:28:59,044 --> 00:29:00,773
I don't care.
439
00:29:04,650 --> 00:29:05,742
Sorry about that.
440
00:29:17,529 --> 00:29:18,962
How are you?
441
00:29:19,565 --> 00:29:21,795
I'm lousy. I'm being audited.
442
00:29:23,202 --> 00:29:24,396
Of course.
443
00:29:24,837 --> 00:29:26,634
By a real creep too.
444
00:29:32,811 --> 00:29:35,405
I think I owe you an apology.
445
00:29:36,381 --> 00:29:38,872
- Really?
- IRS agents...
446
00:29:39,084 --> 00:29:42,485
...we're given rigorous aptitude tests
before we can work.
447
00:29:43,222 --> 00:29:47,556
Unfortunately for you, we aren't tested
on tact or good manners...
448
00:29:47,893 --> 00:29:49,986
...so I apologize.
449
00:29:50,896 --> 00:29:53,990
I ogled you.
450
00:29:55,801 --> 00:29:57,166
Sorry.
451
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,034
Okay, apology accepted.
452
00:30:05,077 --> 00:30:07,807
But only because you stammered.
453
00:30:14,586 --> 00:30:17,953
So you're a frequenter of the
metropolitan transit authority too?
454
00:30:18,924 --> 00:30:21,256
No. I'm just late.
455
00:30:22,261 --> 00:30:24,491
Big flag-burning to get to?
456
00:30:25,664 --> 00:30:27,188
Actually...
457
00:30:28,333 --> 00:30:32,793
...it's my weekly evil-conspiracy
and needlepoint group.
458
00:30:34,139 --> 00:30:35,766
You wanna come?
459
00:30:37,042 --> 00:30:40,443
I left my thimbles and socialist
reading material at home.
460
00:30:42,281 --> 00:30:43,680
So...
461
00:30:47,152 --> 00:30:50,280
Harold nervously made small talk.
462
00:30:51,390 --> 00:30:53,756
You have very straight teeth.
463
00:30:53,959 --> 00:30:55,620
Very small talk.
464
00:30:56,895 --> 00:30:59,864
Thanks. They're real.
465
00:31:00,065 --> 00:31:03,398
Harold quickly calculated the odds
of making an ass of himself...
466
00:31:03,602 --> 00:31:07,436
...in ratio to the amount of time
he stayed to chat.
467
00:31:08,907 --> 00:31:11,034
This is my stop. I should go.
468
00:31:13,178 --> 00:31:15,578
- He was elated and surprised...
- See you soon.
469
00:31:15,781 --> 00:31:19,774
...by his somewhat flirtatious
encounter with Ms. Pascal.
470
00:31:20,285 --> 00:31:23,254
So elated that he exited
the Transit Authority bus...
471
00:31:23,455 --> 00:31:27,858
...a good 27 blocks too early
and would now have to walk.
472
00:31:46,778 --> 00:31:49,212
- "You ain't down yet."
- That's right.
473
00:31:49,414 --> 00:31:53,942
Tell us, what is You Ain't Got
Nothin' On Me about, Emmett Cole?
474
00:31:54,152 --> 00:31:55,710
What does this mean?
475
00:31:55,921 --> 00:32:00,756
Well, it's about being around
in the world, doing different things...
476
00:32:00,959 --> 00:32:03,257
- ...doing what you wanna do...
- Come in.
477
00:32:06,398 --> 00:32:10,391
Mr. Crick. Come in, come in. Please.
478
00:32:12,571 --> 00:32:13,595
How are you?
479
00:32:14,306 --> 00:32:15,534
I'm fine, actually.
480
00:32:15,741 --> 00:32:17,572
You can turn that off.
481
00:32:18,110 --> 00:32:20,601
Looks like our narrator
hasn't killed you quite yet.
482
00:32:20,812 --> 00:32:24,077
- No, not yet.
- Good, great. Have a seat.
483
00:32:24,816 --> 00:32:26,807
- Count the stairs outside?
- No.
484
00:32:27,019 --> 00:32:29,988
Course not. I've devised a test--
485
00:32:30,188 --> 00:32:32,656
How exciting is that?
--of 23 questions...
486
00:32:32,858 --> 00:32:36,419
...which I think might help uncover
more truths about this narrator.
487
00:32:36,628 --> 00:32:38,459
- Now, Howard...
- Harold.
488
00:32:38,663 --> 00:32:42,497
Harold. These may seem silly,
but your candor is paramount.
489
00:32:42,701 --> 00:32:44,191
Okay.
490
00:32:44,669 --> 00:32:46,068
So.
491
00:32:48,273 --> 00:32:52,175
We know it's a woman's voice,
the story involves your death...
492
00:32:53,845 --> 00:32:55,403
...it's modern, it's in English.
493
00:32:55,614 --> 00:32:58,412
I'm assuming the author
has a cursory knowledge of the city.
494
00:32:58,617 --> 00:33:01,552
- Sure.
- Okay, good.
495
00:33:04,256 --> 00:33:05,985
Question one:
496
00:33:06,191 --> 00:33:08,682
"Has anyone recently left
any gifts outside your home?"
497
00:33:08,894 --> 00:33:10,452
Anything? Gum? Money?
498
00:33:10,662 --> 00:33:12,789
- A large wooden horse?
- I'm sorry?
499
00:33:12,998 --> 00:33:14,989
- Just answer the question.
- No.
500
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,828
"Do you find yourself inclined
to solve murder mysteries...
501
00:33:18,036 --> 00:33:21,437
...in large, luxurious homes
to which--?" Let me finish.
502
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,131
"To which you may or may not
have been invited?"
503
00:33:24,342 --> 00:33:25,536
No. No, no, no.
504
00:33:25,744 --> 00:33:28,770
All right. On a scale of one to 10...
505
00:33:28,980 --> 00:33:32,507
...what would you consider the
likelihood you might be assassinated?
506
00:33:33,085 --> 00:33:34,052
Assassinated?
507
00:33:34,252 --> 00:33:37,517
One being very unlikely, 10 being
expecting it around every corner.
508
00:33:38,390 --> 00:33:41,120
- I have no idea--
- Okay. Let me rephrase.
509
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:43,951
Are you the king of anything?
510
00:33:45,030 --> 00:33:46,054
- Like what?
- Anything.
511
00:33:46,264 --> 00:33:48,562
King of the lanes
at the local bowling alley.
512
00:33:48,767 --> 00:33:50,166
"King of the lanes"?
513
00:33:50,368 --> 00:33:54,236
- King of the lanes. King of the trolls.
- "King of the trolls"?
514
00:33:54,439 --> 00:33:58,739
Yes. A clandestine land
found underneath your floorboards.
515
00:33:58,944 --> 00:34:00,241
- Anything.
- No.
516
00:34:00,445 --> 00:34:02,504
No. That's ridiculous.
517
00:34:02,714 --> 00:34:05,808
Agreed. But let's start with ridiculous
and move backwards.
518
00:34:06,451 --> 00:34:09,386
Now, was any part of you at one time
part of something else?
519
00:34:09,588 --> 00:34:11,749
Like do I have someone else's arms?
520
00:34:11,957 --> 00:34:14,983
Well, is it possible at one time
that you were made of stone...
521
00:34:15,193 --> 00:34:17,093
...wood, lye, varied corpse parts...
522
00:34:17,295 --> 00:34:19,661
...or earth made holy
by rabbinical elders?
523
00:34:19,865 --> 00:34:23,562
No. Look... I'm sorry. What do these
questions have to do with anything?
524
00:34:23,768 --> 00:34:25,895
The only way to find out
what story you're in...
525
00:34:26,104 --> 00:34:28,095
...is to determine what stories
you're not in.
526
00:34:28,306 --> 00:34:31,571
Odd as it may seem, I've just ruled out
half of Greek literature...
527
00:34:31,776 --> 00:34:33,869
...seven fairy tales,
10 Chinese fables...
528
00:34:34,079 --> 00:34:37,014
...and determined conclusively
that you are not King Hamlet...
529
00:34:37,215 --> 00:34:39,206
...Scout Finch, Miss Marple...
530
00:34:39,417 --> 00:34:43,080
...Frankenstein's monster,
or a golem.
531
00:34:48,226 --> 00:34:50,251
Aren't you relieved to know
you're not a golem?
532
00:34:51,296 --> 00:34:54,629
Yes, I am relieved to know
that I am not a golem.
533
00:34:54,833 --> 00:34:55,800
Good.
534
00:35:00,739 --> 00:35:02,434
Do you have magical powers?
535
00:35:38,076 --> 00:35:40,271
May I ask what we're doing out here?
536
00:35:40,478 --> 00:35:44,005
- We're imagining car wrecks.
- I see.
537
00:35:45,350 --> 00:35:47,614
And we can't imagine
car wrecks inside?
538
00:35:47,819 --> 00:35:49,343
No.
539
00:35:50,188 --> 00:35:52,418
Did you know
that 41 percent of accidents...
540
00:35:52,624 --> 00:35:55,115
...occur in times
of inclement weather?
541
00:35:55,327 --> 00:35:57,591
So do 90 percent
of pneumonia cases.
542
00:35:57,796 --> 00:36:02,699
Really? Pneumonia.
That's an interesting way to die.
543
00:36:03,635 --> 00:36:06,263
But how would Harold
catch pneumonia?
544
00:36:06,471 --> 00:36:08,462
Have you written
anything new today?
545
00:36:08,673 --> 00:36:09,935
No.
546
00:36:10,141 --> 00:36:12,939
Did you read the poems I suggested,
or make a list of words...
547
00:36:13,144 --> 00:36:15,112
...buy new typing paper, anything?
548
00:36:15,313 --> 00:36:16,871
No, none of it.
549
00:36:18,250 --> 00:36:20,013
Sitting in the rain won't write books.
550
00:36:20,218 --> 00:36:24,484
Well, that illustrates exactly how much
you know about writing books.
551
00:36:31,630 --> 00:36:32,790
What's this?
552
00:36:33,398 --> 00:36:35,730
It's literature on the nicotine patch.
553
00:36:37,102 --> 00:36:40,299
I don't need a nicotine patch, Penny.
I smoke cigarettes.
554
00:36:41,339 --> 00:36:42,601
Well, it may help.
555
00:36:42,807 --> 00:36:45,935
May help? Help what?
556
00:36:46,411 --> 00:36:49,312
Help what, Penny?
Help write a novel?
557
00:36:49,514 --> 00:36:51,744
May help save your life.
558
00:36:52,083 --> 00:36:54,517
I'm not in the business of saving lives.
559
00:36:57,289 --> 00:36:59,314
In fact, just the opposite.
560
00:37:02,394 --> 00:37:04,487
- "What's your favorite word?"
- Integer.
561
00:37:04,696 --> 00:37:06,220
Good, good, good.
562
00:37:06,431 --> 00:37:08,558
"Do you aspire to anything?"
563
00:37:09,901 --> 00:37:12,461
- No.
- Conquer Russia?
564
00:37:12,671 --> 00:37:15,231
- Win a whistling contest?
- No.
565
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:19,308
Harold, you must
have some ambition.
566
00:37:20,111 --> 00:37:23,706
- I don't think so.
- Some underlying dream. Think.
567
00:37:25,984 --> 00:37:27,474
Well...
568
00:37:28,620 --> 00:37:31,248
...I've always wanted my life
to be more musical.
569
00:37:32,023 --> 00:37:35,424
- Like West Side Story?
- No.
570
00:37:35,860 --> 00:37:37,725
- Like...
- What?
571
00:37:37,929 --> 00:37:41,365
Well, I've always wanted to learn
to play the guitar.
572
00:37:43,835 --> 00:37:45,462
Okay.
573
00:37:47,305 --> 00:37:49,273
The last thing
to determine conclusively...
574
00:37:49,474 --> 00:37:51,965
...is whether you're in a comedy
or a tragedy.
575
00:37:52,177 --> 00:37:53,508
To quote Italo Calvino:
576
00:37:53,712 --> 00:37:56,977
"The ultimate meaning
to which all stories refer has two faces:
577
00:37:57,182 --> 00:38:00,049
The continuity of life,
the inevitability of death."
578
00:38:01,019 --> 00:38:04,386
Tragedy, you die.
Comedy, you get hitched.
579
00:38:08,193 --> 00:38:10,161
Most comic heroes
fall in love with people...
580
00:38:10,362 --> 00:38:12,159
...introduced after the story
has begun.
581
00:38:12,364 --> 00:38:14,992
Usually people
who hate the hero initially.
582
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:19,000
Although I can't imagine anyone
hating you, Harold.
583
00:38:19,204 --> 00:38:23,004
Professor Hilbert, I'm an IRS agent.
584
00:38:23,375 --> 00:38:24,569
Everyone hates me.
585
00:38:26,010 --> 00:38:27,204
Right, right. Good.
586
00:38:27,412 --> 00:38:30,677
Have you met anyone recently
who might loathe the very core of you?
587
00:38:31,783 --> 00:38:35,116
I just started auditing a woman
who told me to get bent.
588
00:38:36,121 --> 00:38:37,782
Well, that sounds like a comedy.
589
00:38:39,491 --> 00:38:41,322
Try to develop that.
590
00:38:43,128 --> 00:38:44,152
Four of these?
591
00:38:44,362 --> 00:38:46,296
You know, I didn't get my honey,
honey.
592
00:38:46,498 --> 00:38:50,025
Lulu, can you refill the honey
for Larry? Quarters also?
593
00:38:50,235 --> 00:38:51,827
That's my good boy.
594
00:38:52,036 --> 00:38:53,970
I'm adding some acorns.
595
00:38:54,439 --> 00:38:55,838
Mr. Crick.
596
00:38:56,975 --> 00:39:00,411
You're here early.
Must have a lot of people to extort.
597
00:39:00,612 --> 00:39:02,477
No. No, just you.
598
00:39:03,848 --> 00:39:06,646
- Twig tea and banana bread.
- Yes, ma'am.
599
00:39:06,851 --> 00:39:10,309
Actually, it should only take the day to
make sure 22 percent is all you owe.
600
00:39:10,522 --> 00:39:14,253
Well, I won't be paying no matter
the percentage, Mr. Crick.
601
00:39:14,459 --> 00:39:18,327
No, I know. But the percent
determines how big your cell is.
602
00:39:25,003 --> 00:39:26,630
You know, you can call me Harold.
603
00:39:26,838 --> 00:39:30,001
Yeah, I know. But I don't want to.
604
00:39:32,210 --> 00:39:33,404
This is for Ramona, honey.
605
00:39:33,611 --> 00:39:36,307
- Oh, thank you.
- You're very welcome.
606
00:39:36,948 --> 00:39:38,916
What is that?
What are you marking?
607
00:39:40,785 --> 00:39:42,309
Oh, this is nothing.
608
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,648
Why don't we start
with your backup documents...
609
00:39:45,857 --> 00:39:48,325
...and the receipts
for the past three years.
610
00:39:48,526 --> 00:39:50,016
Sure.
611
00:39:58,703 --> 00:39:59,897
What's this?
612
00:40:01,306 --> 00:40:03,399
- My files.
- What?
613
00:40:03,608 --> 00:40:05,098
My tax files.
614
00:40:06,010 --> 00:40:07,500
You keep your files like this?
615
00:40:07,712 --> 00:40:10,510
No, actually I'm quite fastidious.
616
00:40:10,715 --> 00:40:14,242
I put them in this box
just to screw with you.
617
00:40:27,799 --> 00:40:31,132
- Hi.
- Hi. How are you?
618
00:40:32,270 --> 00:40:34,932
So how was it? Aruba.
619
00:40:35,139 --> 00:40:38,438
Ms. Pascal? Can I just ask you
a question about this receipt?
620
00:40:38,643 --> 00:40:41,510
- It was fantastic.
- Just wondering if this nine is a seven.
621
00:40:41,713 --> 00:40:44,944
- And what did you do?
- I got a beautiful tan.
622
00:40:45,583 --> 00:40:49,110
- I'm just gonna guess it's a seven.
- I mean, I feel stress-free.
623
00:40:54,392 --> 00:40:56,087
Do you need help with that?
624
00:40:57,295 --> 00:40:59,320
--walk to heaven. I see the president.
625
00:40:59,531 --> 00:41:01,692
- It's the taxman. Hello, Mr. Taxman.
- Yeah.
626
00:41:01,900 --> 00:41:03,367
- You can call me Harold.
- Okay.
627
00:41:03,568 --> 00:41:05,195
- How the numbers going?
- Pretty good.
628
00:41:05,403 --> 00:41:07,166
- Gonna find that 22 percent?
- 22 percent?
629
00:41:07,372 --> 00:41:09,863
Twenty-two, 11 times 2.
It's prime numbers.
630
00:41:10,074 --> 00:41:13,066
- You gonna tax the bathroom?
- No, I'm not gonna tax the bathroom.
631
00:41:13,278 --> 00:41:15,542
- Could I use the bathroom, then?
- Go for it.
632
00:41:15,747 --> 00:41:17,442
Okay. I wanna use the bathroom.
Bye now.
633
00:41:17,649 --> 00:41:18,775
Bye-bye.
634
00:42:00,725 --> 00:42:02,090
Well, good night.
635
00:42:03,227 --> 00:42:04,888
You want a cookie?
636
00:42:05,530 --> 00:42:06,656
Oh, no.
637
00:42:06,864 --> 00:42:10,960
Come on. They're warm and gooey.
They're fresh out of the oven.
638
00:42:11,703 --> 00:42:13,500
No, I don't like cookies.
639
00:42:15,540 --> 00:42:17,167
You don't like cookies?
640
00:42:20,278 --> 00:42:23,372
- What's wrong with you?
- I don't know.
641
00:42:23,581 --> 00:42:26,516
- Everybody likes cookies.
- No, I know.
642
00:42:26,718 --> 00:42:30,620
I mean, after a really awful,
no-good day...
643
00:42:30,822 --> 00:42:33,723
...didn't your mama ever make you
milk and cookies?
644
00:42:34,892 --> 00:42:38,384
No. My mother didn't bake.
645
00:42:38,596 --> 00:42:41,724
The only cookies I ever had
were store-bought.
646
00:42:44,268 --> 00:42:47,101
Okay. Sit down.
647
00:42:47,739 --> 00:42:49,866
- No, I'm--
- No.
648
00:42:50,341 --> 00:42:52,138
Sit down.
649
00:42:56,014 --> 00:42:57,208
Now...
650
00:42:58,216 --> 00:43:00,241
...eat a cookie.
651
00:43:00,451 --> 00:43:01,816
I really can't.
652
00:43:02,020 --> 00:43:05,353
Mr. Crick, it was a really awful day.
653
00:43:06,257 --> 00:43:09,090
I know, I made sure of it.
654
00:43:09,594 --> 00:43:11,289
So pick up the cookie...
655
00:43:11,496 --> 00:43:13,623
...dip it in the milk...
656
00:43:13,831 --> 00:43:15,628
...and eat it.
657
00:43:40,191 --> 00:43:42,523
That's a really, really good cookie.
658
00:43:50,835 --> 00:43:52,632
So when did you decide
to become a baker?
659
00:43:53,905 --> 00:43:56,806
- In college.
- Oh, like a cooking college?
660
00:43:57,942 --> 00:44:01,070
I went to Harvard Law actually.
661
00:44:01,646 --> 00:44:06,777
- Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed it was--
- No. No, it's fine. I didn't finish.
662
00:44:07,552 --> 00:44:09,520
- Did something happen?
- No.
663
00:44:10,922 --> 00:44:14,915
I was barely accepted.
I mean, really barely.
664
00:44:15,126 --> 00:44:18,254
The only reason they let me come
was because of my essay.
665
00:44:18,463 --> 00:44:22,456
How I was gonna make the world
a better place with my degree.
666
00:44:23,234 --> 00:44:27,967
Anyway, we would have to participate
in these study sessions...
667
00:44:28,172 --> 00:44:31,164
...my classmates and I,
sometimes all night long.
668
00:44:31,375 --> 00:44:35,106
And so I'd bake so no one
would go hungry while we worked.
669
00:44:35,313 --> 00:44:38,282
Sometimes I would bake all afternoon
in the kitchen in the dorm...
670
00:44:38,483 --> 00:44:42,510
...and then I'd bring my little treats
to the study groups...
671
00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:44,347
...and people loved them.
672
00:44:44,555 --> 00:44:45,817
Eat.
673
00:44:46,023 --> 00:44:50,289
I made oatmeal cookies,
peanut-butter bars...
674
00:44:50,762 --> 00:44:54,198
...dark-chocolate
macadamia-nut wedges.
675
00:44:54,398 --> 00:44:56,730
And everyone would eat
and stay happy...
676
00:44:56,934 --> 00:44:59,095
...and study harder
and do better on the tests.
677
00:44:59,303 --> 00:45:01,999
More and more people started
coming to the study groups...
678
00:45:02,206 --> 00:45:04,037
...and I'd bring more snacks.
679
00:45:04,242 --> 00:45:06,767
I was always looking
for better and better recipes...
680
00:45:06,978 --> 00:45:12,507
...until soon it was ricotta cheese
and apricot croissants...
681
00:45:13,384 --> 00:45:15,909
...and mocha bars
with an almond glaze...
682
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:20,750
...and lemon chiffon cake
with zesty peach icing.
683
00:45:21,859 --> 00:45:25,886
And at the end of the semester
I had 27 study partners...
684
00:45:26,097 --> 00:45:29,533
...eight Mead journals
filled with recipes...
685
00:45:29,734 --> 00:45:31,258
...and a D average.
686
00:45:32,203 --> 00:45:34,000
So I dropped out.
687
00:45:34,605 --> 00:45:37,130
I figured if I was gonna
make the world a better place...
688
00:45:37,341 --> 00:45:39,502
...I would do it with cookies.
689
00:45:44,348 --> 00:45:45,781
You like them?
690
00:45:47,285 --> 00:45:48,274
I do.
691
00:45:49,353 --> 00:45:51,150
I'm glad.
692
00:45:52,223 --> 00:45:54,282
Thank you for forcing me
to eat them.
693
00:45:55,059 --> 00:45:56,822
You're welcome.
694
00:46:02,099 --> 00:46:04,863
I should go. Oh, thank you.
For the cookies, I mean.
695
00:46:05,069 --> 00:46:06,832
- Why don't you take them home?
- Oh, no.
696
00:46:07,038 --> 00:46:09,199
- Oh, come on.
- No, really, please.
697
00:46:09,407 --> 00:46:12,433
- No, really, please.
- No, no, no. Really, please.
698
00:46:12,643 --> 00:46:14,702
I would like to, but I can't.
699
00:46:15,379 --> 00:46:16,903
- You can't?
- No, no, I mean--
700
00:46:17,114 --> 00:46:19,810
Because, see, it constitutes a gift.
701
00:46:20,151 --> 00:46:22,711
Actually I shouldn't have even had
those other ones, so...
702
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,115
Okay. Well, I'm not
gonna tell anyone.
703
00:46:25,323 --> 00:46:27,951
- No. I know, but if you did...
- Well, I'm not going to.
704
00:46:28,159 --> 00:46:29,251
I know, but if you did--
705
00:46:29,460 --> 00:46:32,520
- What, you think I'm gonna call the--?
- No, no. I'll purchase them.
706
00:46:32,730 --> 00:46:35,858
I'm happy to purchase them.
How's that?
707
00:46:37,902 --> 00:46:40,302
And then there are no issues.
708
00:46:42,406 --> 00:46:44,636
- What?
- No.
709
00:46:44,842 --> 00:46:46,901
- Please.
- Just...
710
00:46:47,111 --> 00:46:48,942
- Why don't I just--?
- Go home.
711
00:46:49,146 --> 00:46:50,443
Really, it's not a big deal.
712
00:46:50,648 --> 00:46:52,775
Go home.
713
00:46:54,452 --> 00:46:55,817
Okay.
714
00:47:00,424 --> 00:47:01,721
Did you...?
715
00:47:03,327 --> 00:47:06,319
You baked those cookies for me,
didn't you?
716
00:47:09,967 --> 00:47:13,164
You were just trying to be nice
and I totally blew it.
717
00:47:17,275 --> 00:47:20,506
This may sound like gibberish
to you...
718
00:47:23,014 --> 00:47:25,505
...but I think I'm in a tragedy.
719
00:47:56,113 --> 00:47:59,947
Professor Hilbert, I've totally failed
at the comedy-tragedy thing.
720
00:48:00,151 --> 00:48:02,312
In fact, I think she likes me even less.
721
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:04,647
- I know, it's great.
- What do you mean?
722
00:48:05,556 --> 00:48:07,820
You've proved something else
entirely.
723
00:48:08,025 --> 00:48:11,688
The voice seems to be dependent
on actions you take.
724
00:48:12,797 --> 00:48:15,265
You reset your watch,
it says you reset your watch.
725
00:48:15,466 --> 00:48:17,263
You ride a bus,
it says you ride the bus.
726
00:48:17,468 --> 00:48:19,834
You brush your teeth,
it says you brush your teeth.
727
00:48:20,037 --> 00:48:24,064
It may be that you yourself
are perpetuating the story.
728
00:48:24,275 --> 00:48:27,938
- So I suggest we try something else.
- Like what?
729
00:48:28,145 --> 00:48:31,376
- Try nothing. Nothing.
- What about Ms. Pascal?
730
00:48:31,582 --> 00:48:32,776
- Forget her.
- Forget her?
731
00:48:32,984 --> 00:48:34,952
Other than numbers,
she's all I think about.
732
00:48:35,152 --> 00:48:37,882
Harold, if you wanna stay alive,
you'll try something else.
733
00:48:38,089 --> 00:48:41,422
- That something being nothing?
- Nothing, exactly.
734
00:48:41,625 --> 00:48:44,321
- Nothing?
- Let me explain this again.
735
00:48:44,528 --> 00:48:48,157
Some plots are moved forward
by external events and crises.
736
00:48:48,366 --> 00:48:51,062
Others are moved forward
by the characters themselves.
737
00:48:51,268 --> 00:48:53,463
If I go through that door,
the plot continues.
738
00:48:53,671 --> 00:48:55,935
The story of me through the door.
If I stay here...
739
00:48:56,140 --> 00:48:58,574
...the plot can't move forward,
the story ends.
740
00:48:58,776 --> 00:49:01,574
Also if I stay here, I'm late.
741
00:49:03,914 --> 00:49:06,314
- Don't do anything tomorrow.
- Nothing?
742
00:49:06,517 --> 00:49:10,977
Stay home. Don't answer the phone,
open the door, brush your teeth.
743
00:49:11,188 --> 00:49:12,587
- What about work?
- Call them.
744
00:49:12,790 --> 00:49:15,020
- Tell them you're not coming.
- Don't go to work?
745
00:49:15,226 --> 00:49:17,353
Don't do anything that may
move the plot forward.
746
00:49:17,561 --> 00:49:19,586
Instead, let's see if the plot finds you.
747
00:49:20,231 --> 00:49:22,825
Marshall, you're not kicking.
748
00:49:26,203 --> 00:49:29,695
--certain that these geese have never
known any home but this one:
749
00:49:29,907 --> 00:49:31,898
A small lake in Eastern Poland.
750
00:49:32,610 --> 00:49:35,704
Pollution from a nearby factory
is slowly killing...
751
00:49:35,913 --> 00:49:39,405
...the small fish and insects
on which these creatures feed.
752
00:49:39,617 --> 00:49:44,850
All attempts to move the birds to
similar bodies of water have failed.
753
00:49:45,056 --> 00:49:48,890
Perhaps it is the familiarity alone
that keeps them here.
754
00:49:49,093 --> 00:49:53,086
Or perhaps it's an unwillingness
to lose the collective memory...
755
00:49:53,297 --> 00:49:56,289
...of the once-beautiful hills
that surround the lake.
756
00:49:56,500 --> 00:50:00,163
And it takes only seconds
for the fiddler crabs to realize...
757
00:50:00,371 --> 00:50:02,703
...that the wader
they might once have feared...
758
00:50:02,907 --> 00:50:05,398
...has now become their prey.
759
00:50:06,744 --> 00:50:09,611
The wounded bird knows its fate.
760
00:50:10,581 --> 00:50:12,708
Its desperate attempts to escape...
761
00:50:12,917 --> 00:50:16,375
...only underscore the hopelessness
of its plight.
762
00:50:19,256 --> 00:50:23,852
The primates' sad, soulful eyes
will be the first to be plucked out...
763
00:50:24,061 --> 00:50:26,859
...then sold to cosmetic companies
around the world...
764
00:50:27,064 --> 00:50:31,057
...for use in the testing of mascara
and artificial tears.
765
00:50:31,268 --> 00:50:35,136
Next, the monkeys' fur will be stripped
away from their limp corpses...
766
00:50:35,339 --> 00:50:38,706
...and sewn together
to form pillows and comforters.
767
00:50:38,909 --> 00:50:41,400
Mr. Zebra thought he was gonna
take a nice drink.
768
00:50:41,612 --> 00:50:43,239
But you never know
who's gonna eat...
769
00:50:43,447 --> 00:50:45,711
...when you're dining
at Mother Nature's restaurant.
770
00:50:45,916 --> 00:50:48,612
That's gotta hurt. What does
this bald eagle wanna serve...
771
00:50:48,819 --> 00:50:50,844
...with some kidney beans
and a fine Chianti?
772
00:50:51,055 --> 00:50:55,048
It's an eel. And again:
773
00:50:55,259 --> 00:50:57,523
Looks like old Mr. Crocodile
wanted some antelope...
774
00:50:57,728 --> 00:50:59,753
...to clear that salty zebra
from his palate.
775
00:50:59,964 --> 00:51:03,331
Here's a struggle betting gentlemen
have been known to put money on.
776
00:51:03,534 --> 00:51:07,265
When a mongoose encounters a cobra
it's hard to know who's gonna win.
777
00:51:07,471 --> 00:51:09,632
But this time it looks like
it's... the cobra...
778
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:11,933
...who's putting the squeeze
on the mongoose!
779
00:51:12,143 --> 00:51:14,373
But don't cash in your chips
just yet, gentlemen...
780
00:51:14,578 --> 00:51:17,672
...because now it's the mongoose
who holds the winning card!
781
00:51:44,575 --> 00:51:46,805
Hey! Hey!
782
00:51:47,578 --> 00:51:49,478
Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?!
783
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:51,648
- Holy crapping hell.
- What the hell is that?
784
00:51:51,849 --> 00:51:54,044
- Stop the crane. Stop it.
- Stop the crane!
785
00:51:54,251 --> 00:51:56,219
- Hey.
- Hey, what are you doing?
786
00:51:56,420 --> 00:51:58,081
Us? What are you doing?
787
00:51:58,289 --> 00:51:59,950
I was watching TV.
788
00:52:00,157 --> 00:52:03,615
- Well, we're demolishing this place.
- Are you nuts? I live here!
789
00:52:03,827 --> 00:52:06,557
- Is that a TV?
- Yes, that's a TV! It's my TV!
790
00:52:06,764 --> 00:52:09,699
- Well, what's your TV doing in there?
- I said I live here, stupid!
791
00:52:09,900 --> 00:52:11,663
It's where I keep my stuff!
792
00:52:11,869 --> 00:52:15,168
My name's on the goddamn buzzer!
Harold Crick.
793
00:52:15,372 --> 00:52:18,341
Apartment 2-B, 1893 McCarthy!
794
00:52:19,310 --> 00:52:21,778
- Did you say 1893?
- Yes!
795
00:52:28,385 --> 00:52:30,353
I'm not exactly sure it was plot.
796
00:52:30,554 --> 00:52:33,580
I was hoping you'd say it was
just a really bad coincidence.
797
00:52:33,791 --> 00:52:37,227
Meeting an insurance agent the day
your policy runs out is coincidence.
798
00:52:37,428 --> 00:52:41,125
Getting a letter from the emperor
saying that he's visiting is plot.
799
00:52:41,332 --> 00:52:44,495
Having your apartment eaten
by a wrecking ball...
800
00:52:44,702 --> 00:52:46,329
...is something else entirely.
801
00:52:47,972 --> 00:52:51,430
Harold, you don't control your fate.
802
00:52:52,176 --> 00:52:54,610
- I know.
- You do?
803
00:52:56,180 --> 00:52:57,909
Okay. Come with me.
804
00:52:58,115 --> 00:53:01,016
Hey, Tom, can you leave that
till tomorrow?
805
00:53:01,585 --> 00:53:04,713
You were right.
This narrator might very well kill you...
806
00:53:04,922 --> 00:53:09,018
...so I humbly suggest that you just
forget all this and go live your life.
807
00:53:09,827 --> 00:53:13,991
Go live my life? I am living my life.
I'd like to continue to live my life.
808
00:53:14,832 --> 00:53:19,166
I know. Of course. I mean all of it.
However long you have left.
809
00:53:19,370 --> 00:53:22,806
You know, I mean, Howard,
you could use it to have an adventure.
810
00:53:23,007 --> 00:53:27,535
You know, invent something, or just
finish reading Crime and Punishment.
811
00:53:27,745 --> 00:53:31,408
Hell, Harold, you could just eat
nothing but pancakes if you wanted.
812
00:53:32,049 --> 00:53:34,040
What's wrong with you?
813
00:53:34,251 --> 00:53:37,379
Hey. I don't wanna eat
nothing but pancakes. I wanna live.
814
00:53:37,588 --> 00:53:40,580
Who in their right mind in a
choice between pancakes and living...
815
00:53:40,791 --> 00:53:41,758
...chooses pancakes?
816
00:53:41,959 --> 00:53:44,860
Harold, if you'd pause to think
I believe you'd realize...
817
00:53:45,062 --> 00:53:47,257
...that that answer's
inextricably contingent...
818
00:53:47,464 --> 00:53:49,659
...upon the type of life being led...
819
00:53:51,135 --> 00:53:54,229
...and, of course,
the quality of the pancakes.
820
00:53:56,106 --> 00:53:58,199
You don't understand
what I'm saying.
821
00:53:59,310 --> 00:54:00,334
Yes, I do.
822
00:54:01,578 --> 00:54:05,241
But you have to understand that this
isn't a philosophy or a literary theory...
823
00:54:05,449 --> 00:54:07,246
...or a story to me. It's my life.
824
00:54:07,451 --> 00:54:12,150
Absolutely. So just go make it the one
you've always wanted.
825
00:54:19,763 --> 00:54:21,594
I never expected
that they would have--
826
00:54:21,799 --> 00:54:23,630
- Do you want one, two?
- I want one.
827
00:54:23,834 --> 00:54:26,132
- One?
- I want two.
828
00:54:37,147 --> 00:54:38,876
All right, so here's your room.
829
00:54:39,083 --> 00:54:41,677
Or as I like to call it, Sleep Pod Two.
830
00:54:42,286 --> 00:54:43,583
Thanks, Dave.
831
00:54:43,787 --> 00:54:47,279
No problem, dude.
It'll be nice having you around.
832
00:54:48,325 --> 00:54:51,453
- How long you planning on staying?
- I'm not sure.
833
00:54:57,401 --> 00:55:01,895
Dave, can I pose a somewhat abstract,
purely hypothetical question?
834
00:55:02,373 --> 00:55:03,840
Sure.
835
00:55:04,541 --> 00:55:06,702
If you knew you were gonna die...
836
00:55:08,045 --> 00:55:09,876
...possibly soon...
837
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:12,214
...what would you do?
838
00:55:14,051 --> 00:55:15,848
Wow, I don't know.
839
00:55:16,687 --> 00:55:18,655
Am I the richest man in the world?
840
00:55:18,856 --> 00:55:21,051
No, you're you.
841
00:55:22,693 --> 00:55:23,990
Do I have a superpower?
842
00:55:25,129 --> 00:55:26,426
No, you're you.
843
00:55:26,630 --> 00:55:30,430
I know I'm me,
but do I have a superpower?
844
00:55:31,235 --> 00:55:32,964
No, why would you
have a superpower?
845
00:55:33,170 --> 00:55:35,536
I don't know,
you said it was hypothetical.
846
00:55:35,906 --> 00:55:38,966
Fine. Yes. You're really good at math.
847
00:55:39,376 --> 00:55:41,344
That's not a power, that's a skill.
848
00:55:41,979 --> 00:55:44,379
Okay, you're good at math
and you're invisible.
849
00:55:44,581 --> 00:55:46,845
- And you know you're gonna die.
- Okay, okay.
850
00:55:48,152 --> 00:55:50,120
That's easy, I'd go to space camp.
851
00:55:51,088 --> 00:55:52,680
Space camp?
852
00:55:52,890 --> 00:55:57,827
Yeah, it's in Alabama. It's where kids
go to learn how to become astronauts.
853
00:55:58,595 --> 00:56:00,790
I've always wanted to go
since I was 9.
854
00:56:01,732 --> 00:56:04,496
You're invisible
and you'd go to space camp?
855
00:56:04,701 --> 00:56:07,226
I didn't pick invisible,
you picked invisible.
856
00:56:08,071 --> 00:56:09,800
Aren't you too old
to go to space camp?
857
00:56:11,308 --> 00:56:13,799
You're never too old
to go to space camp, dude.
858
00:56:45,409 --> 00:56:46,376
Space camp.
859
00:56:47,744 --> 00:56:50,304
One hundred and twenty-two
guitars.
860
00:56:50,514 --> 00:56:52,982
Seven hundred and thirty-two
strings.
861
00:56:53,183 --> 00:56:55,310
Two hundred and fifty-seven
pickups.
862
00:56:55,519 --> 00:56:59,011
One hundred and eighty-nine
volume knobs.
863
00:56:59,790 --> 00:57:05,092
Here Harold stood, face to face
with his oldest desire.
864
00:57:05,629 --> 00:57:08,621
And stand is almost all Harold did.
865
00:57:09,099 --> 00:57:12,125
It wasn't just about finding
a guitar.
866
00:57:12,336 --> 00:57:17,535
It was about finding a guitar
that said something about Harold.
867
00:57:17,741 --> 00:57:19,641
Unfortunately, this guitar said:
868
00:57:19,843 --> 00:57:24,212
"When I get back to Georgia,
that woman gonna feel my pain."
869
00:57:25,716 --> 00:57:27,843
This one said something
along the lines of:
870
00:57:28,051 --> 00:57:31,020
"Why, yes, these pants are Lycra."
871
00:57:31,655 --> 00:57:34,317
These said, "I'm very sensitive,
very caring...
872
00:57:34,525 --> 00:57:37,255
...and I have absolutely no idea
how to play the guitar."
873
00:57:42,232 --> 00:57:46,032
"I'm compensating for something.
Guess what."
874
00:57:50,841 --> 00:57:52,809
And then Harold saw it.
875
00:57:53,710 --> 00:57:57,009
A damaged and terribly mistreated
sea-foam-green Fender...
876
00:57:57,214 --> 00:57:58,841
...staring back at him.
877
00:57:59,049 --> 00:58:00,778
Despite its obvious maladies...
878
00:58:00,984 --> 00:58:04,249
...the guitar spoke
with conviction and swagger.
879
00:58:04,454 --> 00:58:09,084
In fact, it looked Harold directly
in the eye and very plainly stated:
880
00:58:09,293 --> 00:58:11,989
"I rock."
881
00:58:12,863 --> 00:58:14,160
Just breathe. Watch it!
882
00:58:14,364 --> 00:58:18,266
We've got a 21 -year-old male
with a gunshot wound to the chest.
883
00:58:19,102 --> 00:58:20,364
There you go.
884
00:58:20,737 --> 00:58:25,174
Shot in a gang fight?
Harold's not in a gang.
885
00:58:25,709 --> 00:58:27,643
Man in tweed?
886
00:58:29,846 --> 00:58:32,974
There's nothing wrong with him,
he just likes looking at sick people.
887
00:58:33,183 --> 00:58:35,378
Oddly spoken with disdain.
888
00:58:35,652 --> 00:58:37,085
This isn't working.
889
00:58:37,287 --> 00:58:39,721
Well-- I don't even know
why we're here.
890
00:58:39,923 --> 00:58:41,618
I don't think we're supposed
to be here.
891
00:58:41,825 --> 00:58:45,056
- You said I needed visual stimuli.
- I meant a museum.
892
00:58:45,262 --> 00:58:47,423
I don't need a goddamn museum.
I need the infirm.
893
00:58:47,631 --> 00:58:49,622
You are the infirm.
894
00:58:50,133 --> 00:58:52,658
You're right. The problem is
these people aren't dead...
895
00:58:52,869 --> 00:58:54,837
...they're just severely injured.
896
00:58:55,505 --> 00:58:58,474
Excuse me,
where are the dying people?
897
00:58:59,876 --> 00:59:02,709
Most of these people
are sick or injured--
898
00:59:02,913 --> 00:59:04,813
Which is great, don't get me wrong.
899
00:59:05,015 --> 00:59:07,677
--but they're gonna get better,
which doesn't really help me.
900
00:59:07,884 --> 00:59:11,217
Is there any way to see the people
who aren't going to get better?
901
00:59:11,421 --> 00:59:12,388
Excuse me?
902
00:59:12,589 --> 00:59:15,786
I'd like to see, if at all possible,
the ones who aren't gonna make it.
903
00:59:15,993 --> 00:59:17,620
You know, the dead-for-sure ones.
904
00:59:17,828 --> 00:59:20,524
I'm sorry,
are you suffering from anything?
905
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,195
Just writer's block.
906
00:59:32,976 --> 00:59:35,035
With every awkward strum...
907
00:59:35,245 --> 00:59:38,703
...Harold Crick became stronger
in who he was...
908
00:59:38,915 --> 00:59:42,646
...what he wanted,
and why he was alive.
909
00:59:43,887 --> 00:59:46,754
Harold no longer ate alone.
910
00:59:46,990 --> 00:59:50,187
He no longer counted brushstrokes.
911
00:59:50,394 --> 00:59:52,794
- Harold, I'll see you.
- He no longer wore neckties.
912
00:59:52,996 --> 00:59:53,963
Bye, Dave.
913
00:59:54,231 --> 00:59:59,225
And, therefore, no longer worried
about the time it took to put them on.
914
01:00:01,405 --> 01:00:05,432
He no longer counted his steps
to the bus stop.
915
01:00:07,911 --> 01:00:13,213
Instead, Harold did that
which had terrified him before.
916
01:00:13,417 --> 01:00:16,580
That which had eluded him
Monday through Friday...
917
01:00:16,787 --> 01:00:19,950
...for so many years.
918
01:00:20,157 --> 01:00:22,489
That which the unrelenting lyrics...
919
01:00:22,693 --> 01:00:26,925
...of numerous punk-rock songs
told him to do:
920
01:00:27,364 --> 01:00:30,765
Harold Crick lived his life.
921
01:00:39,976 --> 01:00:42,774
But despite resuscitating his life...
922
01:00:42,979 --> 01:00:47,006
...reviving his hope, and instilling
a few wicked calluses...
923
01:00:47,217 --> 01:00:50,345
...Harold's journey
was still incomplete.
924
01:00:51,254 --> 01:00:57,193
And Harold's wristwatch wasn't about
to let him miss another opportunity.
925
01:01:06,002 --> 01:01:07,697
Ms. Pascal?
926
01:01:07,904 --> 01:01:10,634
- Ms. Pascal?
- Mr. Crick.
927
01:01:11,341 --> 01:01:13,832
- Hi.
- Hi.
928
01:01:14,277 --> 01:01:16,837
- Hi.
- Hi.
929
01:01:17,047 --> 01:01:19,015
I'm glad I caught you.
930
01:01:19,850 --> 01:01:21,147
Oh, yeah? Why?
931
01:01:22,452 --> 01:01:25,819
Because I wanted
to bring these to you.
932
01:01:27,591 --> 01:01:29,786
- Really?
- Yeah.
933
01:01:29,993 --> 01:01:34,362
So you can't accept gifts,
but you can give them?
934
01:01:35,298 --> 01:01:36,390
- Listen--
- I don't know.
935
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:39,034
That seems a little inconsistent,
doesn't it, Mr. Crick?
936
01:01:39,236 --> 01:01:40,464
Very inconsistent, yes.
937
01:01:40,670 --> 01:01:43,002
I'll tell you what.
I'll purchase them.
938
01:01:43,206 --> 01:01:44,673
- No.
- No, no, no, really...
939
01:01:44,875 --> 01:01:47,241
...I'd like to purchase them.
What are they?
940
01:01:48,211 --> 01:01:49,610
Flours.
941
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:53,716
- What?
- I brought you flours.
942
01:02:04,594 --> 01:02:08,587
And you carried them
all the way here?
943
01:02:10,233 --> 01:02:15,364
Ms. Pascal, I've been odd
and I know that I've been odd.
944
01:02:16,406 --> 01:02:19,204
And I want you.
945
01:02:19,743 --> 01:02:22,211
- What?
- There's so many reasons.
946
01:02:22,412 --> 01:02:25,575
There's so many influences in my life
that are telling me...
947
01:02:25,782 --> 01:02:27,340
...at times quite literally...
948
01:02:27,551 --> 01:02:30,349
...that I should come here
and bring you these...
949
01:02:31,421 --> 01:02:33,719
...but I'm doing this
because I want you.
950
01:02:34,825 --> 01:02:36,690
You want me?
951
01:02:37,194 --> 01:02:39,719
In no uncertain terms.
952
01:02:42,532 --> 01:02:47,765
Isn't there some very clear
and established...
953
01:02:47,971 --> 01:02:51,600
...rule about fraternization?
954
01:02:51,808 --> 01:02:54,003
- Auditor-auditee protocol?
- Yeah.
955
01:02:54,211 --> 01:02:56,475
Yeah, but I don't care.
956
01:02:57,047 --> 01:03:00,210
- Why?
- Because I want you.
957
01:03:05,755 --> 01:03:06,722
Well...
958
01:03:08,992 --> 01:03:11,893
...do you mind carrying those
a little bit further?
959
01:03:12,729 --> 01:03:14,060
Okay.
960
01:03:16,833 --> 01:03:18,232
Okay.
961
01:03:32,082 --> 01:03:33,879
Did you make a key?
962
01:03:34,084 --> 01:03:36,245
No, I just committed it to memory.
963
01:03:36,453 --> 01:03:40,514
- The blue, that's barley flour.
- What's that one?
964
01:03:40,724 --> 01:03:42,089
- The orange?
- Yeah.
965
01:03:42,292 --> 01:03:43,884
I forget.
966
01:03:44,494 --> 01:03:45,461
Right here.
967
01:03:49,099 --> 01:03:50,794
Do you wanna come up?
968
01:03:53,270 --> 01:03:55,795
- To your place?
- Yeah.
969
01:03:57,407 --> 01:03:59,341
I guess I could.
970
01:03:59,542 --> 01:04:03,478
Wasn't that the idea with the flours
and everything?
971
01:04:04,981 --> 01:04:09,145
Honestly, I only figured it out
up to "I want you."
972
01:04:10,153 --> 01:04:12,144
Listen, Mr. Crick...
973
01:04:13,123 --> 01:04:14,613
...I think I like you.
974
01:04:15,558 --> 01:04:20,894
And before I do anything rash,
I'd like to make sure.
975
01:04:22,399 --> 01:04:24,458
I'd like you to come up.
976
01:04:26,002 --> 01:04:27,833
I'd be honored.
977
01:04:29,005 --> 01:04:30,404
Great.
978
01:04:33,743 --> 01:04:35,176
Yeah, he was nuts though.
979
01:04:35,378 --> 01:04:39,075
He got caught when he tried
to get the contract notarized.
980
01:04:39,282 --> 01:04:42,046
No. No.
981
01:04:46,623 --> 01:04:47,920
Was it good?
982
01:04:48,525 --> 01:04:49,492
Thank you.
983
01:04:49,693 --> 01:04:52,161
- You're welcome.
- Can I help you?
984
01:04:52,362 --> 01:04:55,559
No, no, I'm gonna put them in the sink.
Go sit down on the couch.
985
01:05:05,308 --> 01:05:06,605
So do you play the guitar?
986
01:05:07,077 --> 01:05:09,568
- What?
- Do you play the guitar?
987
01:05:10,246 --> 01:05:14,512
Terribly. Someone traded me that
for a wedding cake.
988
01:05:14,718 --> 01:05:18,347
Does that mean I have to claim it
on my taxes now?
989
01:05:18,555 --> 01:05:23,015
- No. I'll leave it out of my final report.
- Oh, thanks.
990
01:05:23,994 --> 01:05:25,325
Do you play?
991
01:05:25,528 --> 01:05:27,018
Not really. I only know one song.
992
01:05:27,230 --> 01:05:28,629
Oh, play it.
993
01:05:28,832 --> 01:05:31,062
No, I don't know it that well, actually.
994
01:05:31,267 --> 01:05:34,134
No, come on. I promise I'm not gonna
laugh at you. Play it.
995
01:05:34,337 --> 01:05:36,532
No, no, no. Maybe some other time.
996
01:05:36,740 --> 01:05:38,264
All right.
997
01:08:03,853 --> 01:08:05,115
Ms. Pascal?
998
01:08:05,622 --> 01:08:08,819
- I...
- I know.
999
01:08:09,025 --> 01:08:10,993
I want you too.
1000
01:08:30,914 --> 01:08:36,546
Harold's life was filled with moments
both significant and mundane.
1001
01:08:36,753 --> 01:08:42,020
But to Harold, those moments
remained entirely indistinguishable...
1002
01:08:42,225 --> 01:08:43,920
...except for this.
1003
01:08:44,594 --> 01:08:49,463
As Ana let out a soft sigh and
repositioned herself against him...
1004
01:08:49,666 --> 01:08:51,793
...Harold knew
somewhere in his heart...
1005
01:08:52,001 --> 01:08:54,799
...that this was one
of the significant moments.
1006
01:08:55,004 --> 01:08:58,872
He knew she was
falling in love with him.
1007
01:09:01,377 --> 01:09:03,242
Professor Hilbert. It's a comedy.
1008
01:09:03,446 --> 01:09:05,175
- What?
- A comedy.
1009
01:09:05,848 --> 01:09:09,841
The woman. The one who hates me.
Ana Pascal?
1010
01:09:10,053 --> 01:09:12,146
- Last night...
- Yeah?
1011
01:09:12,355 --> 01:09:13,982
She's falling in love with me.
1012
01:09:14,190 --> 01:09:15,953
- She is?
- It's like a miracle.
1013
01:09:16,159 --> 01:09:18,491
The voice confirmed it
in the middle of the night.
1014
01:09:18,695 --> 01:09:20,094
Well, that's wonderful, Harold.
1015
01:09:20,296 --> 01:09:23,322
I mean, it completely nullifies my list,
but that's fantastic.
1016
01:09:23,533 --> 01:09:24,625
What list?
1017
01:09:24,834 --> 01:09:27,029
These are seven living authors
whose prior work...
1018
01:09:27,237 --> 01:09:29,933
...would seem to make them
candidates to write your story...
1019
01:09:30,139 --> 01:09:32,835
...based on the criteria you and I
previously determined.
1020
01:09:33,042 --> 01:09:37,240
If your narrator is alive,
she's on this list.
1021
01:09:37,981 --> 01:09:40,882
But it appears the list
is of little use to you now.
1022
01:09:41,084 --> 01:09:43,052
Now that you're gonna live
happily ever after.
1023
01:09:43,253 --> 01:09:47,815
Oh, goodie. This woman, Karen Eiffel,
she's one of my favorite authors.
1024
01:09:48,024 --> 01:09:49,355
- Hi.
- Hi.
1025
01:09:49,559 --> 01:09:51,652
Beautiful tragedies. Just beautiful.
Anyway...
1026
01:09:51,861 --> 01:09:56,389
...let me quickly copy this list for you,
just in case.
1027
01:09:58,101 --> 01:10:00,501
Sociopathic author.
1028
01:10:00,703 --> 01:10:03,365
- I just wanted to thank you.
- Of course.
1029
01:10:03,840 --> 01:10:07,776
Listen, please, you must tell me if you
hear the voice of the narrator again...
1030
01:10:07,977 --> 01:10:09,444
...just for my own edification.
1031
01:10:09,646 --> 01:10:11,136
I will.
1032
01:10:13,783 --> 01:10:16,274
Well, it's called Death and Taxes.
1033
01:10:16,486 --> 01:10:19,216
Wow. You know, I'm from Texas.
1034
01:10:19,422 --> 01:10:22,983
No. Not "Texas." Taxes.
1035
01:10:23,192 --> 01:10:25,387
Death and Taxes.
Death and Taxes.
1036
01:10:25,595 --> 01:10:27,529
Taxes.
Like the Benjamin Franklin quote.
1037
01:10:27,730 --> 01:10:29,595
Precisely so.
1038
01:10:29,799 --> 01:10:31,733
This lady's a package,
I'm telling you.
1039
01:10:31,934 --> 01:10:35,426
Tell us, what is this next book
going to be about?
1040
01:10:35,638 --> 01:10:38,106
It's about interconnectivity.
1041
01:10:39,409 --> 01:10:42,071
The looming certainty of death.
1042
01:10:42,278 --> 01:10:43,905
Men's fashion accessories.
1043
01:10:44,113 --> 01:10:46,013
- Oh, my God, that's her.
- What?
1044
01:10:46,215 --> 01:10:49,275
- That's the voice. She's the narrator.
- No, that can't be right.
1045
01:10:49,485 --> 01:10:51,146
No, I'm positive.
1046
01:10:51,354 --> 01:10:53,754
Harold, this interview's a decade old.
1047
01:10:53,956 --> 01:10:56,618
I didn't think anyone actually
wore cuff links anymore.
1048
01:10:56,826 --> 01:10:58,521
That's her.
1049
01:10:58,728 --> 01:11:01,458
- She's British?
- She's her.
1050
01:11:01,664 --> 01:11:04,394
- Karen Eiffel?
- Professor Hilbert, I know that voice.
1051
01:11:05,802 --> 01:11:06,769
Crap.
1052
01:11:07,570 --> 01:11:09,868
- What's wrong?
- First of all, she wasn't on my list.
1053
01:11:10,073 --> 01:11:14,737
I figured you would have mentioned
the accent and she doesn't...
1054
01:11:16,079 --> 01:11:17,046
She kills people.
1055
01:11:18,281 --> 01:11:20,715
- What?
- In every book she--
1056
01:11:20,917 --> 01:11:23,477
The books are all about--
They die. She kills them.
1057
01:11:23,686 --> 01:11:26,621
- Kills who?
- The heroes.
1058
01:11:26,823 --> 01:11:29,223
Four Black Veils. What is that?
1059
01:11:29,425 --> 01:11:32,053
It's about a girl who loses
several members of her family...
1060
01:11:32,261 --> 01:11:33,853
...in quick succession.
1061
01:11:34,063 --> 01:11:35,291
Where is she?
1062
01:11:35,498 --> 01:11:40,526
She's untraceable. Believe me,
I used to teach a class on her.
1063
01:11:40,737 --> 01:11:44,002
I've written her letters. I mean,
she's a hermit, she's a recluse.
1064
01:11:44,207 --> 01:11:47,472
Here. Here's the last book she wrote.
1065
01:11:47,677 --> 01:11:50,737
Look at the copyright. She hasn't
published anything in 10 years.
1066
01:11:50,947 --> 01:11:53,279
She had knowledge of the city.
Does she live here?
1067
01:11:53,483 --> 01:11:54,950
She used to, yes, but I mean--
1068
01:11:55,151 --> 01:11:58,120
Banneker Press. 2267 Wallace Street.
Is that her publisher?
1069
01:11:58,321 --> 01:12:01,484
You're not listening. I said even
if you find her she's not gonna--
1070
01:12:01,691 --> 01:12:03,090
Thank you for your help.
1071
01:12:03,292 --> 01:12:05,055
She only writes tragedies!
1072
01:12:05,261 --> 01:12:06,626
I don't believe in God.
1073
01:12:34,757 --> 01:12:37,658
Okay, he's bringing her flours.
1074
01:12:49,238 --> 01:12:51,832
Kay, where you been?
1075
01:12:52,842 --> 01:12:55,743
I went out to buy cigarettes...
1076
01:12:55,945 --> 01:12:58,709
...and I figured out
how to kill Harold Crick.
1077
01:12:59,982 --> 01:13:01,313
Buying cigarettes?
1078
01:13:01,517 --> 01:13:04,953
As I was--
When I came out of the store...
1079
01:13:05,254 --> 01:13:07,518
...it came to me.
1080
01:13:08,191 --> 01:13:09,488
How?
1081
01:13:09,692 --> 01:13:11,956
Well, Penny,
like anything worth writing...
1082
01:13:12,161 --> 01:13:15,221
...it came inexplicably
and without method.
1083
01:13:15,431 --> 01:13:18,662
I see. Then what happens?
1084
01:13:19,502 --> 01:13:23,700
It's perfect, actually. I can't believe
I didn't think of it earlier.
1085
01:13:23,906 --> 01:13:26,841
It's simple, ironic...
1086
01:13:27,343 --> 01:13:29,538
...possibly heartbreaking.
1087
01:13:30,847 --> 01:13:32,178
Is that it?
1088
01:13:32,515 --> 01:13:33,573
Yes.
1089
01:13:33,783 --> 01:13:36,547
- You wrote it on legal sheets?
- On the bus.
1090
01:13:38,221 --> 01:13:39,586
Well, then.
1091
01:13:42,959 --> 01:13:47,396
So I'll finish it today.
1092
01:13:49,465 --> 01:13:51,228
I'll let the publishers know.
1093
01:13:51,901 --> 01:13:53,926
I'll begin packing my things.
1094
01:13:54,136 --> 01:13:56,104
I appreciate it.
1095
01:14:12,288 --> 01:14:14,722
- Hi. Hello. Hi.
- May I help you?
1096
01:14:14,924 --> 01:14:16,949
I need to speak to Karen Eiffel.
1097
01:14:17,159 --> 01:14:18,524
- I'm sorry?
- Karen Eiffel.
1098
01:14:18,728 --> 01:14:20,923
She's one of your authors.
I need to talk to her.
1099
01:14:21,130 --> 01:14:23,064
Well, sir, she's not here.
1100
01:14:23,266 --> 01:14:26,360
No. No, I know. I need to find her.
I need to know where she is.
1101
01:14:26,569 --> 01:14:27,831
We're just the publishers.
1102
01:14:28,037 --> 01:14:31,837
Right. Of course. But there must be
a way that I can contact her.
1103
01:14:32,475 --> 01:14:34,636
We have the address
where her fan mail is sent.
1104
01:14:34,844 --> 01:14:37,108
No, I can't send mail. It's urgent.
1105
01:14:37,813 --> 01:14:39,075
How do you know her?
1106
01:14:40,182 --> 01:14:42,776
- I'm her brother.
- Her brother?
1107
01:14:43,319 --> 01:14:46,288
- Her brother-in-law.
- She has a sister?
1108
01:14:47,023 --> 01:14:49,355
No, I'm married to her brother.
1109
01:14:50,259 --> 01:14:52,887
Not in this state, the one over.
1110
01:14:54,864 --> 01:14:58,129
Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you
to leave.
1111
01:14:58,334 --> 01:15:00,632
No. Okay. Listen.
1112
01:15:02,471 --> 01:15:07,431
I'm one of her characters. I'm new.
I'm in her new book.
1113
01:15:07,643 --> 01:15:12,046
And she's going to kill me.
Not actually. But in the book.
1114
01:15:12,248 --> 01:15:15,843
But I think it'll actually kill me
so I just need to talk to her...
1115
01:15:16,052 --> 01:15:18,213
...and ask her to stop.
1116
01:15:31,834 --> 01:15:34,667
Hi, Harold. Nice sweater.
1117
01:15:37,840 --> 01:15:39,239
Hi, Harold. Phones are out.
1118
01:15:39,442 --> 01:15:41,137
Hey, Harold, 19 percent of 4632...?
1119
01:15:45,448 --> 01:15:47,712
Hey, Harold. Back from your vaca?
1120
01:15:47,917 --> 01:15:50,317
Hey. Looking good.
1121
01:15:51,120 --> 01:15:53,520
- He looks terrible.
- Yeah, banged up.
1122
01:15:55,157 --> 01:15:57,022
Wherever he went,
I do not want to go.
1123
01:15:57,226 --> 01:15:58,591
Book me not there.
1124
01:16:01,831 --> 01:16:03,025
He's totally ignoring me.
1125
01:16:06,736 --> 01:16:08,499
Here, look at this now.
There he goes.
1126
01:16:08,704 --> 01:16:09,898
It was good having you.
1127
01:16:33,429 --> 01:16:36,227
- Oh, dude, the phones are out.
- Can I borrow your cellphone?
1128
01:16:36,432 --> 01:16:38,696
- The signal's down.
- Damn it.
1129
01:16:38,901 --> 01:16:41,392
- You all right?
- Dave, I need a favor.
1130
01:16:41,604 --> 01:16:44,266
- Sure, what is it?
- Can I have some change?
1131
01:16:47,610 --> 01:16:50,636
Within moments, Harold found himself
running across the plaza...
1132
01:16:50,846 --> 01:16:52,814
...heading for the nearest
pay phone.
1133
01:16:56,118 --> 01:16:57,779
At last, he spotted it.
1134
01:17:00,156 --> 01:17:03,091
But as Harold neared the phone,
he saw it was occupied...
1135
01:17:03,292 --> 01:17:06,591
...by an octogenarian determined
to reach his daughter in Denver...
1136
01:17:06,796 --> 01:17:08,855
...no matter how many quarters
it took.
1137
01:17:09,065 --> 01:17:11,363
Fortunately, Harold remembered
a bank of phones...
1138
01:17:11,567 --> 01:17:13,330
...in the Sixth Street subway tunnel.
1139
01:17:13,536 --> 01:17:16,994
The baby's name isn't Mrs. Epstein.
My daughter's name is Mrs. Epstein.
1140
01:17:34,890 --> 01:17:37,256
The first phone
failed to give a dial tone.
1141
01:17:38,360 --> 01:17:40,157
And the second
seemed to be splattered...
1142
01:17:40,362 --> 01:17:42,159
...with a fresh batch of mucus.
1143
01:17:44,567 --> 01:17:46,626
Harold dialed the third phone...
1144
01:17:46,836 --> 01:17:51,500
...fervently making sure to give each
number key a specific forceful push.
1145
01:18:13,062 --> 01:18:14,495
Don't answer that!
1146
01:18:14,697 --> 01:18:16,597
Didn't you say this phone never r--?
1147
01:18:44,727 --> 01:18:47,025
- Hello?
- Is this Karen Eiffel?
1148
01:18:47,229 --> 01:18:48,890
- Yes.
- My name is Harold Crick.
1149
01:18:49,098 --> 01:18:51,259
I believe you're writing a story
about me.
1150
01:18:52,268 --> 01:18:56,068
- I'm sorry?
- My name is Harold Crick.
1151
01:18:56,772 --> 01:18:59,263
- Is this a joke?
- No.
1152
01:18:59,475 --> 01:19:02,535
No, I work for the IRS. My name,
Miss Eiffel, is Harold Crick.
1153
01:19:02,745 --> 01:19:06,112
When I go through the files at work
I hear a deep and endless ocean.
1154
01:19:06,315 --> 01:19:09,182
- Oh, G--!
- Miss Eiffel?
1155
01:19:10,119 --> 01:19:11,677
Hello?
1156
01:19:11,887 --> 01:19:14,014
Miss Eiffel? Hello?
1157
01:19:21,330 --> 01:19:22,524
Let him in.
1158
01:19:35,244 --> 01:19:36,541
Hello.
1159
01:19:37,012 --> 01:19:38,138
Hello.
1160
01:19:39,348 --> 01:19:41,043
I'm Penny. I'm Kay's assistant.
1161
01:19:41,250 --> 01:19:44,151
Oh, I'm Harold. Her main character.
1162
01:20:02,504 --> 01:20:04,131
Oh, my God.
1163
01:20:07,910 --> 01:20:09,537
Oh, my God.
1164
01:20:10,913 --> 01:20:12,540
Oh, my God.
1165
01:20:17,753 --> 01:20:19,015
Miss Eiffel?
1166
01:20:19,488 --> 01:20:22,685
Your hair. Your eyes.
1167
01:20:23,926 --> 01:20:25,484
Your fingers.
1168
01:20:27,730 --> 01:20:29,698
Your shoes.
1169
01:20:32,768 --> 01:20:33,962
Hello.
1170
01:20:38,173 --> 01:20:40,164
I'm Harold Crick.
1171
01:20:40,910 --> 01:20:42,639
I know.
1172
01:20:44,613 --> 01:20:45,807
How did you find me?
1173
01:20:46,882 --> 01:20:50,283
We audited you
a little more than 10 years ago...
1174
01:20:50,486 --> 01:20:52,477
...and your number was in the file.
1175
01:20:52,688 --> 01:20:57,318
I'm sorry,
but this is incredibly strange.
1176
01:20:57,526 --> 01:20:59,187
You're telling me.
1177
01:20:59,895 --> 01:21:01,988
Didn't you think you were crazy?
1178
01:21:02,631 --> 01:21:04,121
Sort of.
1179
01:21:04,333 --> 01:21:07,894
But then you were right
about everything. Like, everything.
1180
01:21:08,103 --> 01:21:10,298
And then you said,
"Little did he know."
1181
01:21:10,506 --> 01:21:14,636
- "Little did he know"?
- Yeah. It's third-person omniscient.
1182
01:21:15,277 --> 01:21:16,471
Jesus.
1183
01:21:16,679 --> 01:21:20,080
Which meant it was, well, you know,
someone other than me.
1184
01:21:20,449 --> 01:21:23,009
At least that's what
Professor Hilbert said.
1185
01:21:23,218 --> 01:21:25,311
Professor Hilbert?
1186
01:21:25,654 --> 01:21:27,315
- Professor Jules Hilbert?
- Yeah.
1187
01:21:28,624 --> 01:21:30,592
Yeah, he loves your books.
1188
01:21:31,493 --> 01:21:34,428
I love his letters. I don't--
1189
01:21:34,630 --> 01:21:36,655
So you understand
why I had to find you...
1190
01:21:36,865 --> 01:21:40,096
- ...and ask you not to kill me.
- What?
1191
01:21:40,569 --> 01:21:43,436
I mean, obviously
you haven't written the end.
1192
01:21:44,473 --> 01:21:45,440
Harold...
1193
01:21:45,641 --> 01:21:49,873
I mean, now since we've met
and you can see that I exist...
1194
01:21:50,079 --> 01:21:52,047
...you're not gonna kill me, right?
1195
01:21:54,984 --> 01:21:56,611
Have you written it?
1196
01:21:57,152 --> 01:21:58,710
I can-- No.
1197
01:21:58,921 --> 01:22:00,445
- Have you written it?
- An outline.
1198
01:22:01,023 --> 01:22:02,888
Okay. But it's just an outline, right?
1199
01:22:03,092 --> 01:22:04,684
- Yeah, sort of.
- "Sort of"?
1200
01:22:04,893 --> 01:22:06,417
- It's just not typed.
- "Not typed"?!
1201
01:22:06,628 --> 01:22:08,118
- Maybe that's okay.
- What does that mean?
1202
01:22:08,330 --> 01:22:11,731
- I'm sorry, I'm trying to write a book.
- What do you mean it's "okay"?
1203
01:22:11,934 --> 01:22:13,959
- What do you mean you're sorry?
- Kay.
1204
01:22:14,169 --> 01:22:15,932
Let him read it.
1205
01:22:18,774 --> 01:22:20,537
Let him read it.
1206
01:22:35,391 --> 01:22:37,825
- Did you find her?
- Yeah.
1207
01:22:38,293 --> 01:22:41,626
- And?
- I may already be dead...
1208
01:22:41,830 --> 01:22:43,627
...just not typed.
1209
01:22:44,666 --> 01:22:45,655
Is that it?
1210
01:22:47,703 --> 01:22:49,000
Did you read it?
1211
01:22:49,204 --> 01:22:51,502
I tried, but I couldn't.
1212
01:22:53,075 --> 01:22:55,009
You have to read it.
1213
01:22:55,544 --> 01:22:58,138
You have to tell me
what to do or what not to do.
1214
01:22:58,680 --> 01:23:01,114
If I can avoid it...
1215
01:23:02,518 --> 01:23:04,486
If I have a chance...
1216
01:23:04,920 --> 01:23:06,410
Please.
1217
01:23:13,262 --> 01:23:14,729
Okay.
1218
01:23:15,397 --> 01:23:16,591
Okay.
1219
01:23:55,471 --> 01:23:57,564
And here's your uniform.
1220
01:23:58,774 --> 01:24:01,538
It's a go. Banetta's outside,
she'll assign you your locker.
1221
01:24:03,745 --> 01:24:06,646
- And you roll.
- I'm ready.
1222
01:25:03,906 --> 01:25:05,669
Professor Hilbert?
1223
01:25:07,543 --> 01:25:09,807
- Hi, Harold.
- Hi.
1224
01:25:11,747 --> 01:25:13,078
You look tired.
1225
01:25:13,815 --> 01:25:16,113
No, no, just calm.
1226
01:25:19,555 --> 01:25:21,420
Harold, I'm sorry.
1227
01:25:25,127 --> 01:25:26,856
You have to die.
1228
01:25:27,863 --> 01:25:29,057
What?
1229
01:25:29,264 --> 01:25:31,755
It's her masterpiece.
1230
01:25:34,069 --> 01:25:39,268
It's possibly the most important novel
in her already stunning career...
1231
01:25:39,474 --> 01:25:43,137
...and it's absolutely no good
unless you die at the end.
1232
01:25:44,213 --> 01:25:46,010
I've been over it again and again...
1233
01:25:46,215 --> 01:25:49,844
...and I know how hard this is
for you to hear.
1234
01:25:53,922 --> 01:25:57,187
You're asking me
to knowingly face my death?
1235
01:25:58,293 --> 01:25:59,920
Yes.
1236
01:26:01,463 --> 01:26:03,090
Really?
1237
01:26:04,066 --> 01:26:05,363
Yes.
1238
01:26:15,077 --> 01:26:19,537
I thought you'd...
I thought you'd find something.
1239
01:26:20,682 --> 01:26:21,979
I'm sorry, Harold.
1240
01:26:24,786 --> 01:26:29,314
Can't we just try and just see
if she can change it?
1241
01:26:29,524 --> 01:26:31,992
- No.
- No?
1242
01:26:32,194 --> 01:26:33,593
Harold...
1243
01:26:34,463 --> 01:26:37,728
...in the grand scheme
it wouldn't matter.
1244
01:26:39,935 --> 01:26:42,733
- Yes, it would.
- No.
1245
01:26:44,840 --> 01:26:46,808
I could change.
1246
01:26:49,044 --> 01:26:51,171
I could quit my job.
1247
01:26:51,380 --> 01:26:54,008
I could go away with Ana.
1248
01:26:54,449 --> 01:26:57,043
I could be someone else.
1249
01:26:57,886 --> 01:26:59,979
Harold, listen to me.
1250
01:27:00,188 --> 01:27:02,588
I can't die right now.
1251
01:27:05,127 --> 01:27:07,652
It's just really bad timing.
1252
01:27:10,098 --> 01:27:13,158
No one wants to die, Harold,
but unfortunately we do.
1253
01:27:15,003 --> 01:27:16,527
Harold...
1254
01:27:17,205 --> 01:27:19,196
Harold, listen to me.
1255
01:27:21,310 --> 01:27:24,438
Harold, you will die someday,
sometime.
1256
01:27:24,646 --> 01:27:26,807
Heart failure at the bank.
1257
01:27:27,316 --> 01:27:29,511
Choke on a mint.
1258
01:27:30,452 --> 01:27:33,785
Some long, drawn-out disease
you contracted on vacation.
1259
01:27:33,989 --> 01:27:37,720
You will die. You will absolutely die.
1260
01:27:38,560 --> 01:27:42,018
Even if you avoid this death,
another will find you.
1261
01:27:42,230 --> 01:27:48,066
And I guarantee that it won't be nearly
as poetic or meaningful...
1262
01:27:48,470 --> 01:27:50,438
...as what she's written.
1263
01:27:53,775 --> 01:27:55,606
I'm sorry...
1264
01:27:56,812 --> 01:27:59,576
...but it's the nature of all tragedies,
Harold.
1265
01:28:00,515 --> 01:28:04,349
The hero dies,
but the story lives on forever.
1266
01:28:42,824 --> 01:28:47,090
- There's an empty seat right there.
- No, I wanna sit down over here.
1267
01:29:22,731 --> 01:29:24,096
Kay?
1268
01:29:35,677 --> 01:29:37,076
Kay?
1269
01:29:39,714 --> 01:29:42,547
How many people
do you think I've killed?
1270
01:29:44,619 --> 01:29:46,917
- Kay.
- How many?
1271
01:29:47,422 --> 01:29:48,719
- I don't know.
- Eight.
1272
01:29:49,558 --> 01:29:53,722
- Kay--
- I've killed eight people. I counted.
1273
01:29:54,362 --> 01:29:56,091
They're fictional. Get up.
1274
01:29:56,298 --> 01:29:58,266
Harold Crick isn't fictional.
1275
01:29:58,700 --> 01:30:01,464
- I don't--
- He isn't fictional, Penny.
1276
01:30:02,537 --> 01:30:06,598
Every book I've ever written ends
with someone dying. Every one.
1277
01:30:07,375 --> 01:30:09,775
Really nice people too.
1278
01:30:09,978 --> 01:30:13,937
The book about Helen
the schoolteacher.
1279
01:30:15,050 --> 01:30:20,215
I killed her
the day before summer vacation.
1280
01:30:20,989 --> 01:30:23,048
How cruel is that?
1281
01:30:23,525 --> 01:30:26,892
And the civil engineer, Edward.
1282
01:30:27,095 --> 01:30:28,528
The one I trapped...
1283
01:30:28,730 --> 01:30:34,259
...with a heart attack in rush hour.
1284
01:30:34,469 --> 01:30:36,300
I killed him.
1285
01:30:38,073 --> 01:30:40,098
I killed...
1286
01:30:41,176 --> 01:30:43,269
Penny, I killed them all.
1287
01:31:17,045 --> 01:31:19,445
Miss Eiffel? Miss Eiffel?
1288
01:31:20,749 --> 01:31:22,614
- Harold.
- Hi.
1289
01:31:22,884 --> 01:31:26,251
- I just finished it.
- You just...
1290
01:31:26,454 --> 01:31:29,252
Yeah, I read it all in one read
on the bus.
1291
01:31:30,158 --> 01:31:31,819
It's lovely.
1292
01:31:32,027 --> 01:31:34,154
I like the part about the guitars.
1293
01:31:35,230 --> 01:31:39,098
Well, thanks, thanks. Goo--
Well, listen, I'm--
1294
01:31:39,301 --> 01:31:43,863
No, I read it and I loved it.
And there's only one way it can end.
1295
01:31:44,673 --> 01:31:48,200
I mean, I don't have much background
in literary anything...
1296
01:31:48,410 --> 01:31:50,344
...but this seems simple enough.
1297
01:31:53,381 --> 01:31:56,782
I love your book.
And I think you should finish it.
1298
01:32:14,035 --> 01:32:15,935
The night before his death...
1299
01:32:16,137 --> 01:32:19,766
...Harold unsuspectingly went about
some usual business.
1300
01:32:21,276 --> 01:32:23,744
He finished his outstanding audits.
1301
01:32:25,680 --> 01:32:28,205
He made a few phone calls
he had been putting off.
1302
01:32:28,416 --> 01:32:32,216
Listen, does your program
have an age limit?
1303
01:32:32,887 --> 01:32:35,287
And he traveled to Ms. Pascal's...
1304
01:32:35,490 --> 01:32:38,721
...where she made him meat loaf
and chocolate pudding...
1305
01:32:38,927 --> 01:32:41,589
...and the two watched old movies.
1306
01:32:43,365 --> 01:32:44,992
It was a nice enough evening.
1307
01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:49,034
And in any other circumstance
it would've seemed commonplace.
1308
01:32:49,704 --> 01:32:53,105
In fact, the only thing
that made this night significant...
1309
01:32:53,308 --> 01:32:55,674
...was the morning it preceded.
1310
01:33:01,383 --> 01:33:03,681
I have to tell you something.
1311
01:33:03,885 --> 01:33:05,182
You do?
1312
01:33:06,087 --> 01:33:07,748
I do.
1313
01:33:08,556 --> 01:33:11,650
- Is it a secret?
- Sort of.
1314
01:33:11,860 --> 01:33:13,350
Tell me.
1315
01:33:15,063 --> 01:33:17,031
I adore you.
1316
01:33:20,235 --> 01:33:22,328
I adore you too.
1317
01:33:25,040 --> 01:33:28,476
- That it?
- No.
1318
01:33:29,678 --> 01:33:31,475
I have to tell you this.
1319
01:33:31,680 --> 01:33:34,274
I just want you to listen carefully.
1320
01:33:34,482 --> 01:33:36,040
Okay.
1321
01:33:37,385 --> 01:33:41,515
You can deduct the value
of all the food you give away...
1322
01:33:41,723 --> 01:33:44,248
- ...as a charitable contribution.
- Harold.
1323
01:33:44,459 --> 01:33:49,761
No, no, no. In fact it amounts to more
than what you're currently withholding.
1324
01:33:49,964 --> 01:33:52,125
And it doesn't break any tax laws.
1325
01:33:52,333 --> 01:33:56,531
Harold, the point
is to break the tax laws.
1326
01:33:56,738 --> 01:34:00,105
I wanna make the world
a better place too, Ana.
1327
01:34:01,076 --> 01:34:04,239
I think that means
keeping you out of jail.
1328
01:34:08,216 --> 01:34:09,706
Okay.
1329
01:34:10,385 --> 01:34:11,875
Okay?
1330
01:34:12,087 --> 01:34:13,554
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1331
01:34:13,755 --> 01:34:17,418
If you come over here...
1332
01:34:17,625 --> 01:34:21,823
...and talk a little more tax talk
in my ear.
1333
01:34:22,030 --> 01:34:24,362
Because I like it so much.
1334
01:35:47,315 --> 01:35:51,046
Much had changed for Harold
over the past few weeks:
1335
01:35:51,252 --> 01:35:53,220
His attitude towards work.
1336
01:35:53,421 --> 01:35:55,753
His habitual counting.
1337
01:35:56,057 --> 01:35:57,820
His love life.
1338
01:36:01,996 --> 01:36:05,363
But of all the transmutations
Harold Crick had undergone...
1339
01:36:05,567 --> 01:36:10,561
...perhaps the most significant
was that today on his return to work...
1340
01:36:10,772 --> 01:36:15,209
...he was not late
for the 8:17 Kronecker bus.
1341
01:36:17,879 --> 01:36:19,574
What Harold had not understood...
1342
01:36:19,781 --> 01:36:22,181
...about that Wednesday
four weeks prior...
1343
01:36:22,383 --> 01:36:25,147
...was that the time he received from
his fellow commuter...
1344
01:36:25,353 --> 01:36:29,084
...was, in fact, three full minutes
later than the actual time...
1345
01:36:29,290 --> 01:36:31,588
...and, therefore, three full minutes
later...
1346
01:36:31,793 --> 01:36:36,492
...than the time to which his watch
and life had been previously set.
1347
01:36:37,565 --> 01:36:39,931
Not the worst of errors.
1348
01:36:41,302 --> 01:36:44,635
But if Harold had not set his watch
to the incorrect time...
1349
01:36:44,839 --> 01:36:48,400
...Harold would have again
barely caught the 8:17 Kronecker bus.
1350
01:36:49,043 --> 01:36:51,170
And he would not be approaching
the bus stop...
1351
01:36:51,379 --> 01:36:54,576
...precisely at 8:14
this particular Friday.
1352
01:36:54,782 --> 01:36:56,249
Excuse me.
1353
01:37:00,288 --> 01:37:01,915
Harold?
1354
01:37:03,358 --> 01:37:05,451
An otherwise ignorable fact...
1355
01:37:06,027 --> 01:37:07,688
...until the unthinkable occurred.
1356
01:37:41,462 --> 01:37:43,726
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1357
01:37:43,932 --> 01:37:45,627
I need for everyone
to just stay seated.
1358
01:37:45,833 --> 01:37:47,357
Come on, son.
1359
01:37:52,507 --> 01:37:55,101
- What happened? I didn't see him.
- It was not your fault.
1360
01:37:55,310 --> 01:37:57,608
He was trying to help the boy.
Get your supervisor.
1361
01:37:57,812 --> 01:37:59,006
I don't believe this.
1362
01:37:59,213 --> 01:38:01,704
- It was all my fault, though.
- No, it wasn't.
1363
01:38:01,916 --> 01:38:03,110
Is he okay?
1364
01:38:03,318 --> 01:38:06,151
- It looks likes he's breathing.
- I don't think he's breathing.
1365
01:38:06,354 --> 01:38:07,651
Oh, my God.
1366
01:38:22,603 --> 01:38:23,763
Come in.
1367
01:38:27,475 --> 01:38:28,533
Excuse me.
1368
01:38:32,313 --> 01:38:34,543
Are you Professor Hilbert?
1369
01:38:36,250 --> 01:38:37,683
Yes.
1370
01:38:39,921 --> 01:38:42,412
Hi. I'm Karen Eiffel.
1371
01:38:43,224 --> 01:38:47,627
I believe we have
a mutual acquaintance.
1372
01:38:49,097 --> 01:38:51,292
Please, sit down.
1373
01:38:52,233 --> 01:38:54,758
No, I just came by to...
1374
01:38:55,837 --> 01:38:57,202
Here.
1375
01:39:00,575 --> 01:39:03,442
- Is that it?
- Yes.
1376
01:39:04,312 --> 01:39:06,007
Have you read it?
1377
01:39:07,648 --> 01:39:09,343
Is that all right?
1378
01:39:12,854 --> 01:39:14,378
Yes.
1379
01:39:16,924 --> 01:39:21,861
I think, perhaps, you may be
interested in the new ending.
1380
01:39:34,375 --> 01:39:36,240
Good afternoon.
1381
01:39:37,178 --> 01:39:38,907
Oh, hi.
1382
01:39:39,547 --> 01:39:41,845
It's a pretty brave thing you did.
1383
01:39:44,919 --> 01:39:47,945
Stepping in front of that bus
was pretty brave.
1384
01:39:49,557 --> 01:39:52,219
Kind of stupid, but pretty brave.
1385
01:39:52,427 --> 01:39:54,156
Oh, yeah.
1386
01:39:55,096 --> 01:39:56,723
Is that boy okay?
1387
01:39:56,931 --> 01:39:59,161
He's just fine. Scratched up is all.
1388
01:39:59,367 --> 01:40:00,994
Oh, good.
1389
01:40:03,471 --> 01:40:04,995
Am I okay?
1390
01:40:05,940 --> 01:40:07,805
Well, you're not dead.
1391
01:40:08,009 --> 01:40:10,807
On the other hand, it looks like
you cracked your head...
1392
01:40:11,012 --> 01:40:13,207
...you broke three bones
in your leg and foot...
1393
01:40:13,414 --> 01:40:16,110
...you suffered four broken ribs,
fractured your left arm...
1394
01:40:16,317 --> 01:40:20,219
...and severed an artery in your right,
which should've killed you in minutes.
1395
01:40:20,421 --> 01:40:21,615
But amazingly...
1396
01:40:21,823 --> 01:40:24,553
...a shard of metal from your watch
obstructed the artery...
1397
01:40:24,759 --> 01:40:27,694
...keeping the blood loss
low enough to keep you alive...
1398
01:40:27,895 --> 01:40:29,362
...which is pretty cool.
1399
01:40:30,698 --> 01:40:32,962
Yeah.
So with some physical therapy...
1400
01:40:33,167 --> 01:40:35,897
...a few months of rest,
you should be fine.
1401
01:40:36,237 --> 01:40:39,365
Well, sort of. We weren't able
to remove the shard of watch...
1402
01:40:39,574 --> 01:40:42,475
...from your arm without risking
severe arterial damage.
1403
01:40:42,677 --> 01:40:44,975
You'll be okay.
You'll just have a piece of watch...
1404
01:40:45,179 --> 01:40:47,443
...embedded in your arm
the rest of your life.
1405
01:40:48,082 --> 01:40:50,915
You're very lucky to be alive,
Mr. Crick.
1406
01:40:51,853 --> 01:40:52,820
Yeah.
1407
01:40:57,058 --> 01:41:00,425
- Dr. Mercator, Mr. Crick has a visitor.
- Sure.
1408
01:41:01,462 --> 01:41:04,989
- My God, Harold.
- Hey.
1409
01:41:07,702 --> 01:41:10,466
- I'm okay. It's all right.
- Harold.
1410
01:41:10,671 --> 01:41:12,161
I'm fine.
1411
01:41:12,373 --> 01:41:14,967
Harold, you're not fine.
1412
01:41:15,176 --> 01:41:18,577
Look at you. You're severely injured.
1413
01:41:18,779 --> 01:41:21,748
- No, I'm fine.
- What--? What happened?
1414
01:41:22,917 --> 01:41:24,544
I stepped in front of a bus.
1415
01:41:24,752 --> 01:41:27,550
What? Why?
1416
01:41:27,755 --> 01:41:31,384
There was a boy.
I had to push him out of the way.
1417
01:41:31,592 --> 01:41:33,651
What?
1418
01:41:34,562 --> 01:41:37,793
I had to keep this boy from getting hit.
1419
01:41:41,202 --> 01:41:44,296
You stepped in front of a bus
to save a little boy?
1420
01:41:45,206 --> 01:41:47,299
I didn't have a choice.
1421
01:41:47,508 --> 01:41:49,135
I had to.
1422
01:42:03,591 --> 01:42:06,685
It's... It's okay.
1423
01:42:07,995 --> 01:42:10,691
- It's not great.
- No.
1424
01:42:10,898 --> 01:42:13,332
It's okay. It's not bad.
1425
01:42:13,768 --> 01:42:17,101
It's not the most amazing piece
of English literature in several years...
1426
01:42:17,305 --> 01:42:19,637
...but it's okay.
1427
01:42:21,709 --> 01:42:22,676
You know...
1428
01:42:25,146 --> 01:42:27,444
...I think I'm fine with "okay."
1429
01:42:27,648 --> 01:42:30,173
It doesn't make sense
with the rest of the book though.
1430
01:42:30,384 --> 01:42:32,978
No, not yet. I'll rewrite the rest.
1431
01:42:33,187 --> 01:42:35,519
My assistant said
she'd go back to the publisher...
1432
01:42:35,723 --> 01:42:38,248
- ...and request more time.
- Why?
1433
01:42:38,693 --> 01:42:40,354
Don't know. It's awfully sweet though.
1434
01:42:40,561 --> 01:42:43,029
No, why did you change the book?
1435
01:42:45,466 --> 01:42:46,990
Lots of reasons.
1436
01:42:47,201 --> 01:42:49,931
I realized I just couldn't do it.
1437
01:42:51,239 --> 01:42:53,207
Because he's real?
1438
01:42:53,741 --> 01:42:56,505
Because it's a book about a man...
1439
01:42:56,711 --> 01:42:59,703
...who doesn't know he's about to die
and then dies.
1440
01:42:59,914 --> 01:43:03,611
But if the man does know
he's going to die and dies anyway...
1441
01:43:03,818 --> 01:43:06,286
...dies willingly,
knowing he could stop it, then...
1442
01:43:08,089 --> 01:43:12,082
I mean, isn't that the type of man
you want to keep alive?
1443
01:43:14,428 --> 01:43:17,261
As Harold took a bite
of Bavarian sugar cookie...
1444
01:43:17,465 --> 01:43:21,492
...he finally felt as if everything
was going to be okay.
1445
01:43:22,470 --> 01:43:26,031
Sometimes, when we lose ourselves
in fear and despair...
1446
01:43:26,240 --> 01:43:28,640
...in routine and constancy...
1447
01:43:29,744 --> 01:43:31,905
...in hopelessness and tragedy...
1448
01:43:32,513 --> 01:43:36,074
...we can thank God
for Bavarian sugar cookies.
1449
01:43:36,817 --> 01:43:39,547
And fortunately,
when there aren't any cookies...
1450
01:43:39,754 --> 01:43:44,487
...we can still find reassurance
in a familiar hand on our skin...
1451
01:43:45,826 --> 01:43:47,817
...or a kind and loving gesture...
1452
01:43:51,632 --> 01:43:53,099
...or a subtle encouragement...
1453
01:43:57,405 --> 01:43:59,737
...or a loving embrace...
1454
01:44:02,009 --> 01:44:04,842
...or an offer of comfort.
1455
01:44:05,613 --> 01:44:09,344
Not to mention hospital gurneys...
1456
01:44:11,319 --> 01:44:13,446
...and nose plugs...
1457
01:44:20,161 --> 01:44:22,527
...and uneaten Danish...
1458
01:44:24,632 --> 01:44:26,759
...and soft-spoken secrets...
1459
01:44:30,671 --> 01:44:33,504
...and Fender Stratocasters...
1460
01:44:34,175 --> 01:44:38,839
...and maybe the occasional piece
of fiction.
1461
01:44:39,947 --> 01:44:42,245
And we must remember
that all these things...
1462
01:44:42,450 --> 01:44:44,611
...the nuances, the anomalies,
the subtleties...
1463
01:44:44,819 --> 01:44:46,878
...which we assume
only accessorize our days...
1464
01:44:47,088 --> 01:44:51,422
...are, in fact, here for a much larger
and nobler cause:
1465
01:44:51,726 --> 01:44:54,923
They are here to save our lives.
1466
01:44:55,563 --> 01:44:58,157
I know the idea seems strange.
1467
01:44:58,366 --> 01:45:01,961
But I also know that it
just so happens to be true.
1468
01:45:02,970 --> 01:45:04,403
And so it was:
1469
01:45:04,605 --> 01:45:07,073
A wristwatch saved Harold Crick.