One rainy morning I lost my sense of direction, I lost my way One rainy morning I found myself at the doorstep, Of a better place Where do you look For your hero What do you find For a healer Where do you look For your hero What will you call Your savior The Powdered Donuts Kill The Martha ----------------------------------- Dey powdered Dey made of dough Dey after the Martha's life and Dey need to grab her belly De powdered do nuts Need to get lots of knives Dey need to chase af ter mar tha De powdered donuts kill the Martha The Martha dead ??? --- I'd gladly refrain From this psyphaudonic sleep Could I find mine eyes Could I find my sheep ??? --- Coffee and tea Yay for me Coffee with you Much better with two LOST note I don't fucking understand. It seems like things are and should be so much better, but they feel so much fucking worse right now. Somehow I've fucked myself over, and I'm sure my spring break is non-existant now. I am going to go to school tomorrow after a sleepless night of work on late assignments, feeling like a worthless piece of shit, falling asleep in every class, with frustrations beyond belief, and no one left, no one to vent to, no one to feel for, to let some of it go over, because all of those people left my side long ago. I'll most likely be depressed and will be forced or will force myself to hold it all in daylong, and no oasis will await me at home because, despite it being the long awaited spring break, all my parents will want me to do is work and work and work. All they'll have for me is criticism. And despite me being fucking exhausted and frustrated, depressed and lacking self-confidence, having been beaten in by theirs and teachers' criticism, they'll make me work during a time when I should be at another place, playing music and singing praises to my Lord and Savior. What a contradictory note, you might say to yourself; what a hypocritical thing this here piece is. I don't care. My naive thoughts and feelings go into this, period, because I haven't vented to someone for more than two years. I need this. And so, all of this next week and a half of no school will be a living hell, each day full of regret, each day full of work, yet with suttle redemption I'm sure, but nothing to woo me from my fury. I'll just be killing off hours thoughtlessly, living what small amount of real life that it is that I have late in the night when my parents are asleep, and the room which both my computer and piano are in will glow all night long every night until morning begins to shed its light through the cracks between the blinds and the window. How will I recover from this one; or will I? I don't think any of my work matters anymore - to me, I'm fucked; my future is shot and my previously optimistic outlooks and loves of life are to be torn to shreds, left brittle, broken, and rendered useless. So what more can I say? Basically, this note, this means I'm wanting to die. I'm sure I have so many things in store for my future. But right now, my eyes and hopes fall very short, and see no further than tonight. So let me be ignorant.