Thursday, August 14, 2008 08/14/08 Hmm... This journal is definitely not college-ruled. At least, I don't think so. So I wonder if it is okay to write my daily journals in here? Oh well, I will anyways. If she has a problem with it, she will probably tell me, right? A problem with the ruling of the notebook, that is. I am using it because it is the only relatively unused journal I was able to find lying around in the basement. I found it on top of the "credenza" (sp?) in the den. Blah. Crap, forgot to indent that last paragraph. Terrible! Haha, nah it's cool. So ehrm. First day of college. I must say, it was surely the best education-related experience I have had in quite a while, if not the best ever. JCCC has a super nice campus, with surely more to it than meets the eye - especially the places there are to walk. The courtyard-ish area was a big surprise to me; the trees there are huge and beautiful! And the area itself is very expansive and full of. Ehrm. Scratch that - really gives a relaxed feeling of freedom and even wonder. Ever-calming rain, a light and cool, refreshing drizzle encompassed the outdoors until the late reaches of the afternoon. This compiled among the leaves of aforementioned trees really added to the soothing atmosphere. Also, upon arriving at the campus, I noticed that a deep titanic growl emitted from the earth beneath the campus, as if the entire campus were built atop some colossal machine. I'm still kind of perplexed by this but I must say, I truly loved it. I suspect that this is mostly due to the fact that high-pitched noises are way over-used in the world. Of course, this is an opinion, but I have definitely been making analyses (subconciously) that prove my ponderings. Mmyes. Anyway, as for the rain - simply awesome. Perfect. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It must be a favorite weather condition of mine, second only to heavy fog. Listening to some of my old recordings again. In particular, White Petal Tree Solo. I really like it - it seems great to write to. I bet all of my music is, really. I always feel like I want to listen to it because of how dynamically changing it is, but usually it is too slow and loses my patience. Not so much now, though! It seems writing that takes time but not devisive thought is the perfect mix; keeps me busy enough to not be bored and still listen to this. So, White Petal Tree Solo. At the end of it is my rendition of the bug whatever princess blah theme from Twilight Princess. I forgot that I even learned that, let alone recorded it! Hehe, but I'm glad that I did and found it again. Hah, it seems that my own music may end up being the driving force behind my intellect and/or willingness to write in half of these journals. You know, they had us do these things back in elementary school. I wonder why not in junior and senior high? I wouldn't particularly say that I like doing this - it takes a lot of time (more than I expected at this point) and will be the reason - or half of it - that I'm tired at classes tomorrow. Ah well; surely I won't have problems staying awake, but I'll just be sleepy. Or will feel unrested. Mentally unfit, and physically incontent, if you will. I think I may be demanding too much of this pen. Rahhh; rant, rant, rant, blah, blah, blah. Amusing? No. Rampant ranting, senseless and without purpose in nature. But the beauty is in the eye of the beholder no? Then apparently I am not the beholder. However the ranting, purposeless and lacking sense in nature, may have actually served a more inevident purpose - a purpose influent upon my literary, or, writing logic as I inadeptly lay this ink onto the now underlying bed of recycled, malformed and man-made tree product. Was malformed even used appropriately in the sentence aprevious? And is aprevious a word? I'm really not too sure. Robo Go music. Let's see, I have two songs waiting to be finished - Intense Battle and Final Stage. I finally came up with a part to transition to in the Final Stage Song via Our House Sank... 7:55. I'd be adding that tonight, but need to finish this, then am going to sleppeh. Others. Ideas from piano recordings include Peaceful Ominous... 11:16, Potential RBG Theme, Monolitheist Veil... (Elders' Dialogue), I just killed a spider - gah I hate them, Chlorine Spoke by Sliding. Two stage song ideas, maybe more, recorded on phone. Mind cache includes a different song for chasing Golden Pulsector; re-hashed, upbeat but less melodic and more synthy remix of Scientists'/Elders' Theme for ending capture scene. Necessary are mind cache'd (except chase, which may end up being pre-boss ambience), the present incompletes, a preview of the final game's theme (also mind cache, but = Potential RBG Theme), and probably Elders' Dialogue. Just wrote Tutorial Stage Song, which was written out-of-the-aqua a couple nights ago - in two hours. Whew done! At least for tonight. Final Stage Song, you're next! Friday, August 15, 2008 08/15/08 Will I be able to keep up 3 pages every assigned day? I'll make myself. Shouldn't be hard, but just time-consuming. So, skated here today. It was hot, and I got grass all over my shoes. Took a lot less time than I thought it would, though - 50 minutes, and I even got stuck walking behind a woman who knew I was there, but chose to ignore me and wouldn't deviate from the sidewalk long enough to let me pass. I probably could have simply said, "excuse me" and kindly asked her to move aside, but I'm bad about getting up the courage to do those kinds of things. Sad, right? How would I ever get a date if I can't even ask someone to move out of the way? Well, got me there. Never had a date, nor a girlfriend. In a way I'm sort of proud of it, but at the same time, I don't like it because I occasionally get to feeling very lonely. Ah well, I can deal though. I have a hope in the back of my mind that some day soon, some day soon... And how is that for straying off topic? Heh, doesn't matter though, right - I just write what comes to mind. The view from here - the third floor of the Regnier Center - is extraordinary. It gives me the feeling that I'm in perhaps a stationary, floating building, even if one that is not-so-high off the ground. I suppose I just enjoy the thought of reality and dull, daily life being far away, distant and below me - something in that I have the freedom to choose whether or not I partake. Both of my classes are here today - but five hours apart! I still don't have a car, so if I am to go anywhere, I walk/skate there. It's not so bad, though. I've never regretted taking it easy and walking places. I think that in many ways it is much more enjoyable than driving. You get to experience the environment in which you walk, rather than watching it all fly by you, synchronized with the soundtrack of the planet's people. Off to programming. And I'm out. That class went fairly quick - and just as I expected, I won't be learning much new. However, we will apparently be learning Alice and C#, which are likely similar in syntax to C++, but which I am not yet acquainted to at all. So, I suppose I'll still get something out of it, heheh. Well, walking away from class I got a drink and, well, my spot was taken! Or rather, the seat in which I sat when I wrote the earlier portion of this journal - someone was already sitting there. I'm not sure why, but I wasn't expecting that at all! So, I resolved to walk around the campus. My next class was right next door to my previous class, but I had five hours! I suppose my resolution was to get myself acquainted with the campus, but also to see the courtyard-esque area again. Upon revisiting it, it bore me no less beauty than it had the day before. However now, due to the absence of rain I suspect, there were many more people passing through, and hence more noise. This time around, I paid special attention to the fountain. It seemed strange that there were stairs leading down into it, as if they expected people to swim in it or something, hah. I didn't see how deep the water was, so I'm not really sure. Continuing to walk, I came upon the large hill with stone steps around it. I thought it an interesting feature of the campus grounds - I'm sure it's fun to eat lunch on and whatnot, hehe. Afterward I continued on, deciding to make a walk through the Arts and Technology Building. I thought, "People can see me, but I don't stay in their view forever. They know I'm going, but not where to, or even whether or not I'm really trying to get somewhere." Approaching the exit of the A.T. Building, I spotted someone sitting ahead outside on the wall(ish) of a raised plant bed. Thinking to myself, I wondered, "Is that- .. Surely it is someone else. Well, if it is, I will be very glad, but otherwise it doesn't matter. I won't get my hopes up." But yes, in truth it was Emily sitting there. As I walked near her, she looked up, and seemed almost as surprised and delighted as I! Now, it is here that I sat beside her and continued writing this portion of the journal. We are silent - we quickly ran out of things to say. But I am glad to simply be near her. (Sorry about the tense change, heheh). You must understand that, I don't really have many friends my age, or at least, relatively. So running into Emily was quite unexpected, but a very welcome surprise. She is pretty much the only female friend I have anymore, and honestly I'm surprised that she's still as kind to me as ever. Other than her, I have... About five remaining *good* friends that I still keep in touch and hang out with. So, I suppose this journal is coming to a close. Once again, these take forever! It wasn't that hard though. 1:15... I wonder. I think I'll probably try walking somewhere to get food after I part with Em. Saturday, August 16, 2008 08/16/08 Bleh. It's actually Sunday night in the A.M., and I only got an hour and a half of sleep last night. Hence I am tired, and very much so at that. I have a feeling this might make it harder to write. But anyway, I'm writing this now because, due to work, I completely forgot to write in here, and thus must make up for it with the synapse-scribbles presented herein. So, yesterday. Or, supposed-to-be today. Actually let's - let me - back-track to Friday. Walked to and got Taco Bell after parting with Emily. Then attended GAME 101, which as it turns out focuses primarily on the use of Game Maker. No doubt I'll do well in there, but I won't make that a self-induldged assumption. I don't doubt that coming up with some ideas will and/or can be tough. Blehh then I stayed up all night and went to bed. Saturday! I began in a strange sequence of wake-ups. First, Mother awakened me and, next thing I knew right after I opened my eyes and was barely conscious, there was a fresh cinnamon roll on a plate in my face. Surprised, I kinda let out an "Oh!" and she asked if I wanted to try a bite. Having just woken up, it took me some time to process everything, but after having done so, I obliged. How weird, I thought, to be woken up with food! Practically being fed into a slightly awake and aware - but severely confused - state. She did this a few weeks ago and surprised me with a whole home-made strawberry smoothie! Needless to say, it was delicious, but how super-odd. I wonder if that's her new self-devised way of trying to wake me up, and on the first try? Or something. I guess I'd like to think it works, but still, how WEIRD! Hah. Both times, she and Father also left for the lake lot. Advent of the cinnamon roll, though, I went almost immediately back to sleep after hearing that they were going to the lake, and went through what I remember to be over ten taps of the snooze buttons on both my alarm clock and phone alarm! Jeez, I guess I was tired. Finally awake around 1:30 and needing to be at work at 3:00, I got dressed, ate a full, real, re-heated cinnamon roll from the batch Mother baked, spent a pointlessly miniscule but I-don't-regret-it amount of time on the computer, then changed into my work shirt and skated to work. There was a surprising number of new people there. I mean, last Monday there were two new, but there had to be 5+ new on top of those 2 on Saturday. Dissappointingly, about 3 were either middle-aged-or-older women, and one a mexican woman. I'm not trying to be stereotypical or anything... I just look forward to there being more people my age. Naturally, of course. However one girl - new that is - caught my interest in particular. Younger - I don't think she could scan alcohol. I learned a day later that her name was Taylor - not sure about the spelling because I can never get a good view of her name tag. What I found interesting about her is that, despite being new, she acted calm and laid-back. She had a cute, innocent smile that seemed perhaps to say something like, "This job, the questions customers ask - it's all a game that lacks significance compared to the purpose of our lives." I guess that about sums up the intrigue I found in the message of her smile. Note to self: This is not the customer-service-Taylor that everyone seems to dislike. Later in the day, about to clock out for break, I caught a glimpse of Kristen - the "school-band girl" who always smiled a lot. Except she wasn't working, and thus was in casual attire. I don't know why, but she seemed especially cute and radiant to me then - I think mentally the sight of her smile actually made me feel better, or less stressed, as if to compliment the phrase, "A sight for sore eyes." I can't honestly say that, when working, she'd ever come off as attractive to me as she did then. I guess what I admire most about her is that she maintains a consistent radiance of genuine positivity and cheer - pure, relative to that of those contaminated by the ways of the world. Not to say that she or I are exempt from this category, or rather, trait. It is simply how her positive manner seems to come off, to me. I guess Zack is gone. I never learned his last name; otherwise I'd add him on Facebook. That night I got Taco Bell, then skated home. I remember thoroughly enjoying that skate. The way back is more downhill, and the parking lot of that Heartland church is a skating heaven in the direction that leads you back. I think I lost my paycheck during it though... When I got back, there was a little epidemic with me not being home when my parents got home, even though I said I'd skate. Resolved. Sunday, August 17, 2008 08/17/08 Once again, the current day is a day later than the presented date. However, I will still write about the now-yesterday. I contemplated writing this last night - technically this morning - but it was very late by the time I finished Saturday's journal. Hopefully I'll be able to finish Monday's as well, today. Church service. A very excellently-executed set by the church's band - which included Rob on bass, Lisa on keyboard and vocals, Denton switching between acoustic and a rythm-electric role, Cindy and (cave man guy) on vocals, Dennis on drums, and James on electric, pulling off some sweet riffage. They played a rather sweet rendition of We Come to Your Throne; I'd say this was this set's little "trademark song," if you will. After service, Jonathan, I, and eventually Kyle hung out until around 12:15. I was simply messing around on my laptop, idly playing Robo Go when Kyle took notice and began to ask more and more questions. Soon I just asked him if he wanted to try it, and so he did. Very surprisingly, he actually took a liking to it, and actually got very into it! He almost used all of his SRE on the intro stage, but still beat it on his first try. Much to my liking, he was not easily discouraged - even by instant death or the old, dull info HUBs. It seems to me that he has the spirit of a true "veteran gamer." It was so nice to see someone interested in and enjoying my creation - a response unlike any other I'd gotten from RBG. I have a feeling however that, were I not there to guide him, he may have given up, as he had a few simple questions about things that the game apparently did not explain well, such as, ehrm... Can't remember anything in specific. Pity, hah. Funny was it also that he jumped with his index finger and fired with his middle. He didn't play long enough to get any, but I have a feeling that the abilities may not have sat so well with him. I had to force him off soon because Jonathan had to work at 2, and him and I had planned to get pizza at Mafia Mike's. He wasn't upset, however, and he seemed enthused when I said he could save and resume his game later. Mr. Mike's place was crowded, or at least, relatively. There was a Sunday church-going family there to eat. Because they ordered so much, our pizza took much longer to cook than usual, and thus I fear that Jonathan may have been late to work, but I really don't know for sure. I got to bring home a couple slices to re-heat and eat later. Work that night was unusually exciting. As it began, there was nothing special or especially different besides the newcomers. A future employee was "training" in the room beside customer service. I believe it was after my first break that it happened - while bagging a customer's groceries, I noticed that a sudden commotion had come over the common stream of noise behind me - the direction in which customer service was stationed. I turned my head, intending only to glance at the counter, only to see nothing - or rather, a heavy veil, or "plume" as per an employee's words, encasing almost the entire area of the customer service desk in my vision. I returned to face my gathering pile of groceries that I began to auto-pilot into the bags, and coughing soon followed as I glanced again to recapture the scene and insure its reality. I'm sure I've gathered enough question to create curiosity. As it turns out, one of the managers - and yes, a manager - accidentally knocked the fire extinguisher into a nearby trash can, tipping the trash can and causing the fire extinguisher to release its contents - apparently in a rather explosive manner. He then proceeded to (jokingly) blame a customer service employee for his actions - who, from what I heard, was on the opposite side of the store when she spotted the aforementioned "plume" of smoke. I suppose it was in fact very visible from many points and places around the store. The "smoke" - which was more like a very light powdery substance, similar to some lemonade mixes - was causing everyone to cough. It had an irritating effect on the lungs when inhaled, similar to mace but much less potent. (I might explain how I know what breathing mace is like in a different entry.) The effect gives you an almost irresistable sensation of the need to cough. But, if you give in to coughing once, it becomes very hard to stop, so therefore I resisted. Later in the night, I was helping a customer when he asked me, "Hey, aren't you Emily's friend?" From what I remember, the conversation proceeded as follows: "Yeah-" "Haven't you been over to my house a few times?" ".. Are you her father?" "Yeah. That was pretty brave of you to get up there and sing that song (with her); it takes guts to get up on stage like that." "Tch heh, thanks." "Well, see you later!" "Yeah..." I was extremely surprised, especially when he asked if I'd been over there, "at his house." I didn't recognize him at all for some reason - he seemed to be more positive and much skinnier than I remember. Also, I learned via a Facebook wall-message that I apparently made eye contact with an old friend of mine, at work - Kelli, who shares the same birthday with me and who is always changing the way she looks. I wasn't aware of this happening at all! Monday, August 18, 2008 08/18/08 In the duration of writing the last half of the previous entry, a girl whom I don't know at all was sitting in the chair across from me that shared the same table. How awkward! She seemed possibly attractive and wore a decent-smelling perfume, but I only got glimipses in and never saw her face. Eghh @ shyness. It turned out she was waiting for her class - perhaps she only wanted a comfortable seat and didn't care about my presence? Still, there were a few other seats around, and she couldn't have seen me until she passed the pillar behind me. She stayed until her class was open, but neither of us said a word. Oh well, I'll just forget it, I suppose. Oh right, details. I just kept to myself and wrote the whole time. She checked her phone a few times, got on I think a laptop for a few minutes then turned it off, put it away, and spent the rest of the time reading/writing - homework, I'm guessing. Hmm, it's rather late. I'd really like to get to bed soon, but... Yeah, gotta finish this thing. Which of course means that I have to come up with something to write about. Which thus indicates that beginning the thought process required to do so would likely be a wise decision in execution. Therefore, with all data present, gathered, and taken into consideration, it can be concluded that I love lamp. Just kidding. Just finished watching the last of Tenchi OVA 3 tonight. Turned out to be super confusing, but still pretty interesting. That is it then; I have now seen all existing Tenchi-related media. All except for the Mihoshi Special, but that doesn't seem like it'd be anything more than annoying. My conclusion, made in the nest of my *expert* analysis, is that the endings of the OVA and In Tokyo were fairly satisfying, while Universe's ending was mostly just depressing. The first two movies were interesting but *super* rushed, and each of the total 3 had a different art style. The last movie was paced *just* like the anime, if not slower (how a movie should be). It was the best of the 3 in graphical quality, pacing of story, and perhaps plot as well. Of the series over-all, the OVA most certainly had the best and most interesting storyline, with all the original voice actors, more serious than off-the-wall silly parts, a more solid animation style, and more fan service to boot. Universe, while it had its memorable episodes and points in the storyline, was mostly annoying. Too many side-stories, spent the first fifteen to twenty episodes fooling around and hardly pushing the story anywhere new, created a whole new and less interesting introduction sequence of characters, and capitalized on the amazingly annoying sides and life of Kiyone and Mihoshi. That last one is my true pet-peeve of the series. However I did like in particular when Tenchi and his father ended up under a vast, endless body of water. In Tokyo was sillier than the others, but in the end had a much more original storyline than Universe. Despite the good things about it, In Tokyo always got off on the fights between Ryoko and Ayeka, which immediately became old and irritating. Often times while watching Universe and In Tokyo (mainly in the early 80% of episodes), I questioned myself for continuing to watch despite my immense boredom. Never was this so in the OVA - especially OVAs one and two. OVA 3 was just strange; they tried to introduce too many new characters in too little a time, humble be it my opinion. Three-ten, in the ATB, and class begins at three-thirty. I'm hoping that I can really get this done before class begins, but for reasons apparent, I may very well not. Also, it is Tuesday now. Pity, hm? I really hope she didn't expect the Tuesday entry to be done on Tuesday before class. The day hasn't ended yet! Oh, but anyway I've done pretty well for myself in keeping up this journal and whatnot. As I've said before: easy, but time-consuming. It is so, however, that I seem to be writing this a bit faster than I did at first. I seem to really be writing almost everything that comes to mind, and as it does so. I do admit, however, that I do some formulating and arranging of words before I put them on paper. Also I try to avoid repeating myself as I did above, writing ", however," two times in consecutive sentences, or beginning two consecutive or close sentences with the same word. I really have trouble with that one most often. They're not really errors, but they make a writing more dull and monotonous, in my opinion humble. Attained my driver's license today -- FINALLY! Heh, that thing took me forever to get. I'm so bad about procrastination like that. At least I have it now. Truly it is the temporary paper, receipt-esque license, as the true one comes in the mail in 5-6 days. Exciting, hm. Am now in class. A bit of confusion - our old classroom was swapped with another diagonally across the hall. It's all sorted out now - I'm just not sure if we'll be keeping this room. Friday, August 22, 2008 08/22/08 I am alone. Well, we weren't assigned journals again until now, so pardon the gap between entries. You/I/whoever I am writing for or to can probably expect to see more. And now it's only page a day, or at least for this week, so I won't be writing quite as extensively this "session," if you will. After programming fundamentals today, I walked a full round around the general campus grounds. No sign of Emily, even though she said- oh well... I'm sure she either forgot or wasn't paying attention to what she was saying to me. Perhaps she didn't really intend on hanging out every Friday. I half-expected her to be in the same spot, which by the way is where I saw a couple of- ehrm. I think I can remember, if I ever read this again, what I saw. It's not something you see every day; now that I think about it, it's kind of like an omen to my hopes, suggesting a reason she wouldn't be around. Anyway, so I also half-expected that she not be in the same place, but well, I've texted her and she is not answering. I know that in other people's minds, if I really care that much, I would make a call, but I express myself and am only *able* to express myself so well in writing! (And I hate it! I'm not going to have time to - nor would I even want to - pull out a pad of paper every time I want to say something to someone!) So what am I to do, hm? I'm proficient in communicating in a way that most of my peers are deficient at and which they prefer not to use, whereas I am inadept at the quick thought and physical expressiveness necessary to communicate verbally - the apparently most common and powerful form of communication there is. (*Because* you can't take time to think about it as it's being said.) Saturday, August 23, 2008 08/23/08 Ow, ow, ow, ow-ow, owwww. Stomache hurtsphemy! And this is pretty bad; it is actually presently the Monday (night-of) after said Saturday. You'll know why when you read tomorrow's entry, but for now I will just have to try to remember what I can about Saturday. Well... Heh. Not much! You'll also know the probable cause of this lack of memory when you read tomorrow's entry as well. But as for what I do remember: Went to work at 3, and I don't remember much of work. Obviously not much happened before work, either. Parents decided to go up to my sister and brother-in-law's, so I either had to find a ride or walk home. I finally got my license the previous Tuesday, but had no car there. You'll hear more about this in Monday's entry (hint-hint). So all I pretty much remember about work is that I sacked the entire time. The suggested ride was Jonathan, so I forwarded him the text. He "laughed" (through text) and after texting back and forth during the last third of my shift, we finally decided that he should pick me up, hang out, and spend the night. I enjoyed it; he watched all of FLCL finally - got hooked after seeing the second episode, and watched the rest right there and then. I was on SL the whole time trying, to no avail, to get a new Sim Grid prototype working. When I finally broke away, frustrated and unsatisfied, and decided we should go to bed, it was about 5:10. I'm sure you can see where tomorrow's entry is gonna go, but ow, it is much worse! Despite my enjoyment, it was a baad idea. Sunday [<< squiggly-underlined], August 24, 2008 08/24/08 Sunday. Sunday hunday skunday. Ow. Eek. Death. Right then; me and Jonathan wake up a half-hour late, basically having gotten one hour of sleep each. It was *so* hard to wake up. Ahh drive to curch. If you couldn't tell by some of yesterday's entry I was pretty much mentally handicapped by my lack of sleep and still slightly am. I started out fine, just amazingly tired. Then, the only good thing of the day beside service and Mafia Mike's, was a strawberry chai latte smoothie. Fantastizetta good! After service, my stomach had begun to act up a bit. The J's and I went to Quiktrip to grab energy drinks, while I grappled a sausage, egg, and cheese croissant. Also pretty dang swell. I admitted aloud, "I'm a victim. I'm a victim of their marketing techniques." as I had not planned to buy anything initially. Went to Jared's house with the Mafia's pizza to play SL together w/Jonathan. At this point I was so tired and stomach-hurty that I couldn't hardly think to do anything worthwhile. Jon took me home, parents took me to work. I was praying into the early quarter of my shift that I would get to do something other than sack. I eventually gave up hope, pretty much! I felt terrible, and seriously considered asking to go home, but I toughed it out. I felt zetta sore the whole time, like my legs and feet, possibly lower back, too, were all **burning**! Eventually Taylor had me take out trash and later do carts alone, which both were very nice. I felt like I would drop dead any second - the entire last half of my shift I had a splitting, throbbing headache. I got home, and still had to take out the trash! Augh! FINALLY, I quickly but tiredly took off my clothes, then curled up in my bed in feverish cold-hotness. Monday, August 25, 2008 08/25/08 After waking, my hair was super out of wack. A ture testimony to my efforts in making myself completely comfortable so that I could get better. Well, it half-worked, but I still had off-and-on stomach pain and evil-doom headache. Anyway, after becoming fully (or as fully as possible) conscious, I treated myself to a jacuzzi bath, which felt very good and was quite relaxing. Water jets... Hehe. Anyway- oh, I forgot! First thing I did when I woke up is get dressed and drive my dad to a rental car place - where he picked up a rental car in which to drive to Dallas. This means, yes, that I was left with the gold car; my first drive alone! And it will remain mine to drive for the rest of the week. Truly I was excited, but it was 8 a.m. and I still had that occasional fever crap. After the bath, I quickly got my stuff ready and headed out to programming, or rather, the college. After programming I got hot chocolate for the first time from the second-floor machine. It *was* good, but the machine filled the cup *perfectly* full, so obviously I spilled it. Four times, to be precise, hah. One of those times it somehow got all over the trash can. Quiznos, total of $6.66. Guy said, "Nice number, heh." People mad at me driving into college. Work - non-customer service Taylor talked to me some. She seems very kind. In my day-long semi-misery, I grew to feel very lonely. Sat in my car for a bit and listened to Ryan Adams - then drove to DQ while listening to him still. Chili dog? Out of chili. Double cheese ketchard. Chocolate malt. Yay, have. It was good. Ryan Adams is nice to drive to at night, and really helped me chill out. Not a day I regret at all - loved driving alone. Sunday, August 31, 2008 08/31/08 As has become common in these entries, it is not truly the day shown above. Truth be told, it is presently an hour and ten minutes before the due time of this and the following three entries. If it's not obvious, I'm going to write as much as possible between now and then. Each entry must be at least two pages long. So, on Sunday, I believe I drove myself to church in the newer SUV, as my parents were to drive my sister and her husband to the airport as the two of them were going on a week of vacation in Utah. I guess, as I was told, there are some beautiful mountains there, among other things. The worship band played a new song in service, and it wasn't too bad. Out of tire of my consistent indecision, I took the initiative and insisted that me and Jonathan eat at Fazoli's. You see, he had mentioned, as we watched an RPG spoof entitled "Final Spaghetti," that he hadn't had pasta in a long time - which is one of his favorite types of food. So, I met him up there. My beverage of choice was two-thirds Mr. Pibb, one-third Fanta Orange. A quite delectable combination of consumable liquids, if mixed correctly. I departed from the place with a promise to run the Battle Network Online server so that Jonathan could see how it works on his new laptop. Unfortunately, however, upon my arrival home, I felt much to tired to do much of anything except, well, to sleep. Therefore, rest I did until I had to go to work. After re-waking, I swiftly set up my laptop and executed the server program, then rushed off to work and clocked in no more than four minutes late. What luck, I suppose! It's either that, or thank the Lord! Work must have been rather uneventful I suppose, as I do not really recall anything special or significant about it. 2:59. I don't expect to get more than this entry done by the beginning of class. I may further regret my actions last night yet! I spent from eleven o'clock post meridiem to five of-the-clock ante meridiem watching probably over twenty episodes of the anime Rorouni Kenshin. I don't know how, but the creators have managed to keep it interesting through the fourty-plus episodes that I have seen yet. Still about fifty more remain! I am quite honestly wondering how they fill all of that screentime, and what they fill it with. I just want to get this over with so that it can stop taking all of my time and keeping me from doing assignments such as this one! Heheh. Monday, September 8, 2008 09/08/08 Sitting in my car outside the Regnier Center. This is one of those ten-minute journals - the first of ten. I don't remember when my next class, Statistics, is and my little class key on a folded piece of paper is at home. Thus am I considering going home, but I don't really want to give up my parking space, hah. Oh well, I probably will anyways, and burn a couple CD's maybe while I'm there, will I. So pretty much just waiting for these ["525,600" crossed-out] 10 minutes to end, and then shall I go. Gotta keep writing. New car is nice, yes. Watched half of Humanoid Kikaider last night - found out that I can switch the audio to English and am quite excited! 'Twas very good. Time up; adieu! Tuesday, September 9, 2008 09/09/08 I wanna go to sleep. I want to sleep. I don't have any idea why, but I'm so tired that I can't even watch more anime (Rorouni Kenshin). Ahhh so tiiirreddd! Rah. Alright so yesterday after writing that journal, I tried to start my car and it wouldn't. I guess it turned out that the battery was completely drained, pretty much, because I left the (non-automatic) headlight/inner-car lights turned on the whole night before, and gas was low (gas light on). How I made it *to* the college in these conditions, I certainly do not know - but I did. Dad came and helped with the issue. It was a cool/cold-ish drizzly day. I kinda liked it, but it was rather chilly. Ah, jeez I can hardly keep myself awake to write this! I feel like I'm going to pass out or something. Time up; later. Wednesday, September 10, 2008 09/10/08 Stop at 12:59, me. Hm, so today is a college fair thing that I had no idea was going on until I saw mass and flourishing amounts of students swarming around kiosks, from other colleges to those that gave away free sno cones. A huge number of guitars and a keyboard and drumset sat upon a stage-ish outdoor deck ["much like" crossed-out] right outside the up-stairs commons entrance. So after making a lap around the campus, I passed Kim Graff and Arthur Haugh while at the same time spotting David (glasses, tall) and Justin (glasses, short, brown hair), all from ONW. Strange. Am now sitting in "basement-ish" area of the commons with Emily, K.T., and now Nathan. Heh, done. Thursday, September 11, 2008 09/11/08 Well, waiting outside english for my teacher meeting over a paper that hasn't been written yet. How exciting. Truth is, every student must attend a meeting between them and the teacher, or else suffer a two-days' absence. There was no real english class this week. So, it is now 4:29 - my meeting was scheduled for 4:15 and there is at least one person ahead of me (deja vu - WTF?! If you read one of my earliest entries, I said the same thing, then had a deja vu there!!). So yeah, the meetings are running a bit late... Or a byte late, if you prefer. As far as Rorouni Kenshin is concerned, I've watched eps 1-88 of 95, excluding the non-numbered "episodes" which I have no idea where those land on the storyline, especially since I haven't seen them yet. Am now in my car, making up for the approx. four minutes I missed during the "meeting." I'm glad I was straight-up with her; she thought she might have lost the (non-existent) paper, but I clarified for her. Welp, done. Peace. Friday, September 12, 2008 09/12/08 Rahh stop at 12:42!!! Writing! Writing, writing, writing. I guess in this case, jotting down nonsense doesn't aid my cause. I'd probably be better off spending more time thinking about what to write, rather than writing. Or uhm... I dunno? I guess, whatever. The time will be up and over eventually, so why worry about it? Don't? Good, 'cuz I'm not. Hmph. Mleh m-neh ker-cheh. Sitting by Emily and K.T. again. Nathan has not yet joined us, if he plans to at all, though he may only do that Wednesdays. Dunno. Presently I am, obviously, writing while the two play "Tap, Tap, (something)" - a DDR equivalent for iPod touch. Fantastic, haha. I don't really care. Personally, though, as I consider myself a "hardcore" or at least non-casual gamer, I don't really enjoy games like that as much as others. End. Gone. Bye. Farewell. Dead. Fade. Lose. Lost. Destroy. Obliterate. Saturday, September 13, 2008 09/13/08 Guub chuub, I almos forgot about this! Whew. Well, I'm writing now so uhh... GOOD! Yeah! I think... But um. I have to awaken in like two hours. No good! As far as my health is concerned, I'm sure. But good in all other aspects! :) So, Second Life... Huh. Thinking of things SUCH AS: SG person listener, SG person link (listender+forwarder), everyone lister tran, EL kill, maybe EL tele, all parts of the Ghostprinter, SG camera finder (show a location/the target/a person to the user's camera), finishing V Shot, potentially adding more V Buster weapons (though no specific ideas other than a gravity/black-holeish thing), done. Sunday, September 14, 2008 09/14/08 Ohh nooooooooewweewweew! Lolol I forgot to write this on the labelled date, and therefore it is a day later. Guess I'll just have to write two entries today. For some reason, I feel sooo tired! Even despite getting 8 hours of sleep last night, I still feel as tired as I did then; tired enough to cripple me into going to sleep at 1:00 a.m. because I couldn't stay awake enough to be on the computer without my eyes losing focus! Augghh it feels so miserable! I don't get it - if the body naturally feels tired between noon and 5 p.m., then why don't all humans just go to sleep at noon and wake up anywhere from 9 to midnight? It's pretty logical to obey the sleeping pattern that feels natural, no? Fin. (C'est la fin.) Monday, September 15, 2008 09/15/08 Blahmaru blaumari! I'm getting pretty bad at keeping these up - it's really Wednesday! Well, at least I'm writing this at all eh. But srsly (xD) how hard can it be to keep up a ten-minute journal every day? Ten minutes. Sigh. So, made big sim-size sphere of non-group doom last night. Neat, but... Well, neat I guess, haha. Also made "Sim Ceiling Limiter," which turned out to not be so successful. I kinda wanna work on one big, awesome building, or maybe add to the huge base. Maybe like a M.O.S. for SL? But more SL-oriented, somehow. I think it would be neat. (To be cont'd) Tuesday, September 16, 2008 09/16/08 (Cont'd from last.) Except I should somehow make it easier, not only to re-rez, but to re-place each part accurately, and to give each part of the build the "Remain" script. Also, maybe have like hidden rooms in completely random parts of the sim, and them only enter-able via warpPos-y things. If attempt is made to enter other ways, person is killed (damage) or attemptedly shot away. Maybe use the skiller? End. Endendendendendendend!!! Wednesday, September 17, 2008 09/17/08 It's realy Thursday. Yesterday was yeah. It's 11 minutes to class, haha, but I'll just have to cut this short. So, new idea for SL - a "base" of some sort that goes all the way around the edge of the sim- or maybe just the edges that don't connect to other sims. It'd basically be like a long, tall hallway. Maybe then put 100x100x? cylindars lengthwise and use them as sensors to fire at people? (detection) Ryan Adams is very, very good. End journ. Thursday, September 18, 2008 09/18/08 So, until Tuesday, each day I am to write a page about human behavior. These pages are to include observations and descriptions. Dang, I liked the timed ones better hehe. Ah well. Speaking of human behavior, I suppose there a few things from today that I can talk about. Write about. Writing is how I talk, I suppose. Well, Emily called during class today - Comp I, that is. I did not answer, of course, but called her back afterward. Skin. She had called to see if I had anymore classes today, and if not, to see if I desired to hang out. Of course I did, but I also have a late (6-8:50) class later on, so unfortunately that did not happen. I told her so and apologized, and she said, "You don't have to be sorry." Is it wrong to be sorry in that situation? I don't know; that kind of puzzles me I guess. Walking from the ATB to the Regnier Center, a girl and I passed each other in what I now know to be Fountain Square. Shartly before passing me, she said, "I like-" at which point I already somehow knew the rest of her sentence, as my mind quickly went through a review of all the apparel on my body. "-your shirt." From her tone of voice, I assume she smiled. I had sort of been watching her from the corner of my eye, though I never got a good look at her. I instinctively said, "Thanks." back in a muddled voice (from not talking much recently). The shirt I had on was a bright blue-aqua "Truth" shirt, with black, gray, and sky blue decor with a faint depiction of Christ on the cross. She replied, but I couldn't make out what she said. My only guess, from what it sounded like, is, "See you." or maybe, "Uh-huh." I really don't know though; wish I did. My last thoughts were, "Will I ever see that person again at all?" Friday, September 19, 2008 09/19/08 Human behavior. When I'm done with this page, I'm out. Human behavior. When I am finished with this page, I am leaving. Leaving this bench and these beautiful surroundings in this nearly deserted area behind the GEB. Destination will be Regnier Center. Or perhaps my car. Presently, it is fact that I am unsure of this decision, and perhaps will remain so. Maybe only the past can make me sure - sure of what I have already done. She gave me a hug on Wednesday. She said, "I'll see you Friday, I'm sure." I said, "Yeah." Agreed, that I did. I shouldn't take peoples' casual word so seriously. I find it easy to believe that they weren't thinking when they said it. Did pity and disgust go hand-in-hand? Did I appear to be sulking? *Was* I being selfish? Who knows, who knows. Damn that phrase, Sir. It is such a stupid and nonsensical excuse to get oneself out of thinking over something they can not figure out. Something they have not learned to understand yet, but still could. They simply have to will it. No knowledge can be gained if there is no will to obtain it. A driving force is necessary, and to say, "Who knows?" is to give up learning, and to lose all progress made doing so. I don't like this deodorant. It is the soft solid type, so I put it on and it spreads to all parts of me. Onto my clothes, then my hands, into my food, then on my lips, hits my teeth, rubs off onto my tongue, then like wax it stays there, plaguing my mouth for days to come. I must say, even though I like the scent, it does not *feel* good on the skin, and it does not *taste* good in the mouth. But for now, it is the only kind I have. Saturday, September 20, 2008 09/20/08 Sunday, September 21, 2008 09/21/08 Monday, September 22, 2008 09/22/08 Friday, September 26, 2008 09/26/08 Writeeng writorngg blah-bleeeh blah-bloooh! I've been superiorly SLACKING on these lately, HUH? At least I leave blank pages where I should have written other journals. Then, if I ever feel inexplicably like writing something and by some chance I've already written that day's journal or don't have any, then I can' fill in one of those. IF I decide to do this, it is my conclusion that I shall mark the bottom left corner of the page of each entry with a [right-facing triangle encased in a box]#, where # refers to the placement of the entry within the order of all "ghost" entries. What, am I trying to make this special somehow? I don't even know that I'll ever write one. I probably and most likely will not, ever. ARRR!! THIS BE DA LAND O' DE *EXIT* PIRATES, AND WE GOIN' TO SKIMPER YER TEMPERS! How is. That for. TheeeeeeemmMATIQUE?! Must find purpose purpose find me go go purpose ah kill ah kill go go write journal write journal flah flah FLAH! Hahahahahaha ["these" scratched out] this is the most pointless journal thus far, and tells you or any other readers NOTHING about my present whereabouts! You can most certainly guess, though, but I will be giving no confirmational replies [face with squiggly open-mouthed grin, dot-eyes, and raised eyebrows]! [From this point on, all non-i lowercase vowels have vertical lines inexplicably drawn over them] Hahaha face! xP. This is rather strange. Vertical LINeS! [End vertical lines] Ow ow ow lights on curvy bars mounted overhead they are bright BR[roman numeral 3/"III"]GHT! Wagh! Good thing my eyes are no longer cast in their direction! Ah but I just looked again! They couldn't be while I was writing though, unless GAH BRIGHT I were writing blindly ORRR I was holding the journal to the light *W*HICH would be quite annoying and tiring for my arm and at the same time I would be blinded by journal or paper - eclipsed lights. HOW. Veryinconvenient. ! GASP esscamashun mok. Fill space space fill two-page pages two write UP DOWN write! Ar. R. Rr. Rrr. Hm. Is confidence. Brt. Is confidence necessary? Is my **own** confidence necessary? In this state, it's quite easy to believe that I could keep it under most situations no problem! But wouldn't that be convenient!? Everlasting confidence. Sounds idealistic? Perhaps, but it can't hurt to try, hm? And who better to draw your confidence from, than God himself? Hehe and then, perhaps from your spouse, if you have one. But don't always depend on them, as sometimes it will be THEM that need YOU to be their source of strength, and confidence, and perhaps much more. Be sure to communicate with them when you feel down, because if they feel like they have to figure it out themselves and that you won't tell them, they may become upset and think or convince themselves that you don't trust them. However, if you tell them immediately how you feel, they will more quickly come to understand your situation and why you feel that way, as well as being able to sympathise with and help you, all the while feeling more like your equal and of-use to you. I believe in this advice from the bottom of my heart, I think, even though I have no experience in the matter. Otherwise I would likely not have written it down. Not anywhere, or for any reason. Shall I stare, and try my luck at overcoming the situation? -shrugs- Saturday, September 27, 2008 09/27/08 Rawh, I guess I haven't felt like writing much lately, huh? I've been so terrible about keeping these up these past few weeks. (Issrlywdnsdy!) Yeahhh. Sucks. Hehe, the lid of a girl's coffe shop beverage just flew off and fell on the ground right as she passed me, thanks to the wind. I would've liked to get it for her, but it seemed too far away for it to be worth it. *Sigh.* I wish I would've at least looked to see her face... I feel inhuman now. She made a funny little "Ah!" sound when that happened. Seemed potentially attractive, but I wouldn't know, now WOULD I?! There's only so much detail you can derive from (something)-sight (corner-of-your-vision). As for my location, I am in that nice garden-ish area I mentioned in a previous entry when I found it. It's presently a nice, cool fall day, and I have my "Zora tunic blue" Truth hoodie on. I wonder what people think about the kid on the park bench writing in a notebook? Do women find it cute? Beautiful? Attractive? And of course, I'm sure each woman would have a different oppinion. Well it doesn't matter, I suppose; I'll stay here until my next class regardless of anyone's opinion. The bells speak in ones. The only thing likely to move me is... Emily said she was going to eat with her mother. She called to ask whether or not I'll be eating here, yet she wouldn't see me anyway. Why bother asking, then? I suppose it's nice to know why I won't see you and not to look for you, but why ask about where I would be if it doesn't matter anyway? What will I did when these pages reach the yellow split? Because these journals are likely the only reason I'll ever write in this notebook, I suppose I could draw on the yellow-orange some graphical, journal-relative divisionary of entries. But what if I am mid-entry? Iunno. I'll probably do something regardless of the conditions. Draw something on that cardboard divisor. Brainahh I think I am dehydrated and in-need of a big drink! I have a very slight but annoying headache-ish feeling in my head. You know, sort of like the feeling that the last thing you ate is so greasy or unhealthy that its remnants are cutting off the oxygen supply to your brain. Is that abnormal? It was pizza hut. Typical, eh? I've gotten the same kind of feeling from mcdonald's as well. It's really... Ehwgh. Yeash. Hah, when I wrote that I was going for "Yeah-sh." Did thou knoweth that y-e-a is pronounced, "Yay?" Strange, is it not? Mm-hm, mm-hm. I don't know what else to wriiiteeahhh. Mlahhh. ME HEY PLANS YEAH TELL YOU GO THINK. So in programming fundamentals today I was bored as I had completely done the thing they were working on two class days ago. So I was thinking that I should work on and try to finish the Mansion of Fallacy Hexmap. Shouldn't be hard, eh? Plus, I'd like to see it get finished so that people may have incentive to explore the MoF! Also, I downloaded whatever version of the Super Metroid Engine was on Bahoo (which seemed possibly old - lacked a test room) and installed + registered GM6. I began making a larger room that will use a view to follow Samus, which I am very interested in continuing to make, though I am hisitant to because I want to insure that I have the latest and greatest engine. Meh... I've gotta write another 3 entries soon. Thursday, October 23, 2008 10/23/08 Yeahhh... If you couldn't tell by the date gap, I've been terrible at writing journals lately. I mean, wtfwhy??? It's not like they're hard to write or anything. I'm so lazyyy. Well, it's back to ten-minute journals for five days, so hopefully I will keep these up. I know I can. I'd better. New parapraff. I'm going to be evil and special and different, and not say where I am, when is now, nor what has happened today. However yesterday I wrote/composed/recorded a song I entitled "Fate of the Architects." Its lyrics are a group of nonsensical words that are actually the sounds of real words in reverse. Here they are: - 1 Ye Pie, hey I'd- Nay. 2 War gore bore. 3 Came ha-loop, her 'byss? | 4 In this knife, her voice 5 Came ha-loop, he strum 6 In this knife, her voice | (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (1) | Ye pie. - The song came out sounding surprisingly good and dramatic, and almost sounds like it is sung in a foreign language. If you record yourself saying this all in order and reverse the sound, you will probably be able to figure out what is said. It's rather silly, really :P. I'm going to work on filling in a word-and-inverse-equivalent dictionary with basic words so that I may make more of these songs! Later ones will probably have more significant meaning. Friday, October 24, 2008 10/24/08 Write write write writewritewriteriteriteriteiteiteiteteteteeeeeeeaaaahhhhhdd;;;eeeee gush wash splish splush gabber-tash leit-hickum moss-bickering fradder-guilt moskero hon-dawn zen-vudaquress nable hougi. That was quite a rendim streak of frither-bristlin' featherspeak. Screamo the most. Take talent to actually rap about something. I'll probably be here, so - Okay! How late are you guys staying there? Cuz I thought maybe I could meet you guys up there a little later, like at seven? So it's just at the convention center? - Who was that? Just my friend Lyndsey. Want to come see crafts n' stuff with us this weekend? Ehh, I'll just stay at home and be lonely. I might jam some, or maybe get a new book. Why are you lonely? Because [following text becomes squiggly and gets more and more faint until it fades out] Tesse is going to be in sumoro for the ex [. . .] Saturday, October 25, 2008 10/25/08 I have all the plans in the world, Yet no plans have I at all. I am higher than anyone who Has ever scrounged the damaged air | I am bound to lose; I am lost to truth. My future lie in the past - Mine is of and in itself. | Unsurpassed faltering Means unfailed chrono-compresion | | Sky satellite falls Crashes into Earth Oceans ripple outward waves Cities are enclaves of aqua | Revealed the boiling bubble collage Limned from realism sabotaged Sunday, October 26th, 2008 10/26/08 The people will all Falter at dawn For their fates rest Upon the shoulders of pawns Lyrical mastery, habbery dashery, gillansmuck clubbertree. I don't want to burn my tongue! So I guess I am to write about some sorts of troubles in my life or something in this set of journals. I forget the specifics, however, and so I give on that. Maybe my last one will cover that subject, but unlikely so as I'll be writing it today. But perhaps I'll go to the trouble of checking my JCCC e-mail. But likely not. Phone-burning stone-churning groan-herding bone-flirting throne-nerding shown-learning shone-journ'ying stone-yearning prone-tourney hone-turning tone-spurning grapple hooks. Won't find what you can't bind to the mind strinder. (That's a fact!) [On the back is a heavy circle of rings drawn with pen ink. It has three triangles pointing upward and crossing tangent at the right side, coming from text.] POINTLESS