A cucumber a day keeps the weasels away
All of my books are sorted by the authors first name
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn
Antisocial tendencies: a selective social approach?
Are we still here? I want to play games already...
Are you really too hip to be square?
Arguments are explanations for why someone else is right
Baz is gonna make us some seaweed wrapped sausages!
Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!
Beans beans the magical fruit...
Better keep that drink refrigerated
Chaos is just another form of pattern waiting to be deciphered
Cheese toasties are the best toasties, hands down
Control freaks are experts in the art of guidance
Cool
Could I get my parking ticket validated?
Cows are just grass-powered milk machines
Dancing in the rain is just nature's way of testing your waterproofing
Early arrivals making the rest of us fashionably late
Ehhhhhhh
Embrace uncertainty; it's the only constant in an ever-changing world
Fun-sized snacks are just vertically efficient
Hydraulic suspension guarantees a nice smooth ride
I accidentally joined a salsa dancing class for robots
I am not ignoring you; I'm just selectively deaf
I bought a pencil with no eraser, now I'm stuck with my mistakes
I carry traveller's cheques that are accepted worldwide
I fear our government's funds are being misappropriated
I follow my heart... but it sometimes gets lost
I gave my love a chicken it had no bones... mmmm chicken
I have trained my plants to do nothing
I like music that's syncopated
I like my steak chicken-fried
I named my car "Potato" because it's a little mashed up
I prefer my coffee like I prefer my reality: highly filtered
I put my cat on a diet, now it's a heavy metal band member
I sent a letter to the King of Portugal, who never replied
I set my blender to frappe
I speak fluent gibberish
I tried counting sheep, but they kept jumping over the moon
I was thrown off a subway because I had expectorated
I'd like the Latin verb 'to go' conjugated
I'd like to see this sword fight on instant replay
I'll meet you in the foyer
I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing
I'm not a pessimist; I'm just an optimist with experience
I'm not anti-social; I'm just pro-solitude
I'm not weird; I'm just a limited edition
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it
I'm waiting for these feelings of nausea to subside
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success
If life gives you lemons, make a lemon-powered rocket and explore the cosmos
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door out of recycled dreams
If procrastination was a sport, I'd be a world champion... eventually
If you can't be a good example, be a cautionary tale
If you're planning on retiring, have money set aside
In a world full of copycats, be the printer
In a world full of trends, I remain a classic potato
In case of an earthquake, stand in a doorway
Instead of skip, I'd rather sashay!
It's my mum's birthday today, so I got her a slab of monster cans
Let's get these sausages hot-plated
Life is a puzzle, but I lost the box with the picture on it
Life is like a box of chocolates: mostly empty calories
Life is too short to stuff a mushroom, but I do it anyway
My brain has too many tabs open
My craving for peanuts will never be satiated
My entire wardrobe is colour coordinated
My fish can swim better than your fish
My pet rock is an introvert
My robot dog's bark is worse than his byte
My ship has barnacles on its underside
My waffle iron has more gridlock than the city
Normalcy is overrated; embrace your quirks
Now this is true AND proper...
Now with 200% more candour!
Of all crafts, my favourite is macrame
Procrastination: the art of keeping busy while accomplishing nothing?
Reality called, but I didn't answer
Remember, pedestrians always have the right of way
Retro because everything old is new again
So tell me what you want what you really really want
So what are you going to do with this time?
The battle between productivity and naptime rages on?
The early bird catches the worm, but the late owl gets the leftovers
The golden ratio is 8:7... apparently!
The importance of breakfast cannot be overstated
The moon is just the sun's nightlight
The next message is a lie
The previous message was a lie
The secret ingredient is always more cheese
This floor is lovely. Is it parquet?
Ugh, disgusting but it kinda works...
What this island needs is a good reasonable buffet
Why be a square when you can be a parallelogram?
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why jog when you can amble with enthusiasm?
Why walk when you can dance and confuse the floor?
Why walk when you can waltz!
You should let your conscience be your guide
